From The Grave They Arose [BNN Baja Archive]

From the Grave They Arose [BNN Baja Archive]
June 2000

My name be Tienan, an I do be a smith by trade. But ye see, making weapons all day long I learned ta handle a sword mighty well meself. So the other day, when I heard the town crier callin out ‘bout needin help, well I says to myself I says, “Tienan, time ta do somethin useful fer a change ‘sides making weapons.” When I got ta Castle Britain, there be this tall feller in dark brown robes there, an he was saying something ‘bout undead rising up from ther graves in the Britain cemetary an takin up residence blockin the pass ta the north ‘o Britain. Seems their leader, some bloody Liche Master, had killed ‘imself a Knight Amolius an took his sword! It didna be any sword, though, it was a powerful magic weapon that could kill undead like a newly forged sword through a practice dummy. Well, I says to meself, I says, “Tienan, we gots ta help these folks out.” Not that the idea of gettin a sword like tha wasn’t kinda appealin’ an all.

When I got ta this place it were already in chaos! I saw dead knights made ‘o bones an' ten feet tall runnin’ around hackin' people down left an' right! Them liches were castin’ spells everywhere an' giant hounds breathin’ fire at people! I didna know what ter be doin, so I tried ta run through the pass. There were big, rottin trees in there with faces. I had ta duck behind a rock ta keep from gettin smashed by a zombie bein’ thrown over me head. Them undead things were all over, but the other folks were killin em right and left... if ye can kill somethin’ already dead. Ye know I be wonderin’ bout that meself fer a while.

I get ter the other side, an there be this giant black, rottin Liche towerin’ over everyone there an laughin. I says to meself, I says, “Tienan, tha sword just don’t be worth it!” So I tried ta tackle this zombie. It was not just any zombie, tha thing were twenty feet tall, it were, an it had fangs big ‘nough ta bite off yer arm! An razorsharp claws tha dripped poison! Yessir! Ye should’ve seen me, I almost died, but I beat tha thing, me sure did. So I look over and see all there folks clompin ‘round that Liche Master, specially a feller named Val Isildur-Kai... I think tha be it... really made minced Liche outta him! Har har! So he goes down, but nobody knows who gots ther sword!! Some feller just runs off with it, an then gold starts appearin on tha ground outta thin air. Well I’ll be a liver-kissin fish belly sap-sucker!! I helped meself, ‘course I did! An that be how it went, ye can ask anyone ye like, but ye won’t be getting a better story outta anyone in these parts. Ye know, I should tell ye ‘bout the time I took on a ten foot chicken tha wanted ta rule the world. I’m not jossin ye, honest!

Lost Souls in Britain Graveyard [BNN Baja Archives]
June 2000

I was wandering the land in search of the famed Chamber of Secrets when the Town Crier spoke ill fated news. The Britain Graveyard was under an undead siege! Mounting my steed and racing to the cemetery I found undead skeletons, ghosts, and liches rising from the earth beneath the gravestones and ravaging the countryside! Soon, however, warriors from all parts of the land came and wreaked havoc upon the evil villains and, with the help of the guards and a tame dragon, the undead were slain.

After congratulating my helpful colleagues I was thinking to myself, 'Another job well done, Britannia rests peacefully yet again,' and I was just going to turn about and resume my search when suddenly a tattered bundle fell out of one of the lich corpses. Upon closer inspection, the bundle proved to be a tattered old book - and from the looks of it the word 'old' does not do it justice. Written in blood-red ink was a note from the lost soul who was doomed to wander the land as a lich. Slightly puzzled (yet quite intrigued!) I searched the corpses of the other undead and found similar books. I was quite wrong in assuming this was merely another undead uprising to be put down. This was the manifestation of many tortured souls reaching out to us for help! When the warriors returned the reincarnated bodies to their rightful resting places they released the imprisoned souls of those great warriors who fell long before us! Ah, ‘twas truly a great day to see the happy souls flutter peacefully into the next life…