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[EM News] Britannian High Council Speeches - Part 1: Astro. Handalf. Theresa.

Discussion in 'UO Baja' started by WarderDragon, Jun 22, 2011.

  1. WarderDragon

    WarderDragon Babbling Loonie
    Stratics Veteran Alumni BRPA

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    Britannian High Council Candidate Speeches - Part 1: Astro. Handalf. Theresa.

    The High Council Campaigns began with three speeches on the 18th.

    You can view the details below.

    Sir Astro the Bandit

    "Free Cake for all who vote for me!"

    Profession: Thief.
    Associations: The Red Cap Gang. The Magincian Trading Co. Feluccan National Commitee.

    Description:
    - Intends to distribute cakes and pastries to all who vote for him (on election night?).
    - He is here to support the people of the Old Kingdom. (Felucca.) Those abandoned and unrepresented in post-Trammel regimes.
    - Is in need of campaign funds.
    - All people will have a voice through him when he is elected. Most of all the downtrodden and those left behind.
    - All Town Guards will be fired.
    - In contrast to his above statement he intends to withdraw all forces - (OOC Guard Zones) - from Feluccan Cities.

    Verdict: Carpetbagger.

    Handalf the Chicken

    "Bok!"

    Profession: Hunter and Cock Fighter.
    Associations: The Almost Famous Knighthood. The Sosarian Slug and Chicken Civil Liberties Union. Fowl United. Cock Fighting Rings in Cove and Luna.

    Description:
    - Real Britannians do not shun War. Do not whimper for Peace.
    - Orcs. Pirates. All who threaten Britannia will be crushed once and for all.
    - More Guard Patrols. More Guards. More Knights.
    - Britannia will return to a pre-British form of Conquest for wealth. Plunder will be used to pay the Guard.
    - The Independent and Border Kingdoms - those who do not threaten Britannia - have nothing to fear.
    - Sewer and Infrastructure will be fixed.
    - Guards will get taller boots?

    Verdict: Warmongering Hawk.

    Theresa the Happy Fool

    Profession: Hunter and Guardswoman(?)
    Associations: The Mage Tower. The Defenders of Britannia during the War of Corruption. (Bane War.)

    Description:
    - Dresses up just like Captain Jenkins.
    - Will require two seats when she is elected. She intends to eat until she is fat.
    - Will protect the Cities just as well as Queen Dawn did during the War of Corruption.
    - Will pass laws that can be enforced.
    - Will maintain Queen Dawns treaties with the Border Kingdoms.
    - Fern will be given the role of arranging Festivals and Holidays.
    - Taxation with be Voluntary.
    - Government shouldn't intrude on peoples lives.

    Verdict: Populist.​

    Part 2 will be published soon.
     
  2. Yalp

    Yalp Guest

    With Candidates like this, I fear for the state of the Treaty between the Kingdom of Brit and our glorious Empress of Zento. I wonder how our peaceful, beautiful lands will survive having our hands tied to such short sighted and dishonorable candidates. Our nobles weep for the future prosperity of your Kingdom.
     
  3. Hand

    Hand Guest

    Bok! Cock fighter? No sir!

    To clarify, I am not a "warmonger"... I don't know what an "onger" is, much less whether I like them warm.

    I do not seek out conflict. I meant only to express a wish for a vibrant self-defense in the face of invasion! That is not warmongering, but a rather principled stand against the forces of entropy and chaos!

    "Britannia will return to a pre-British form of conquest for wealth. Plunder will be used to pay for the Guard." Umm... not exactly. To the question of how to pay for the military to protect Britannia, I merely suggested that we could find plenty of volunteers for the militia if we just let them take plunder from dead enemies. Guards can increase their numbers by participating in the fighting and looting of said enemies.

    "Guards will get taller boots" Also, not quite right. A guard asked for higher pay, I told him we could get him taller boots, thus when he was paid his wage, he would be getting a higher wage. Because he would be higher off the ground... due to his taller boots... *sigh* Chicken humor is sometimes wasted on humans! *flaps wings*

    "More Knights" Don't know about knights, but more guards would be nice.

    That is all, bipeds! VOTE FOR HAND!
     
  4. Hand

    Hand Guest

    YALP! As part-owner of Zento, I resent such comments! I clearly stated my support for the free states! Sheesh! *takes feather, cleans out Yalps ears... sells earwax*
     
  5. Yalp

    Yalp Guest

    You vile Beast! You have declared your allegiance to the Kingdom of Brittania by submitting your candidacy to this High Council. You have forsaken your loyalty to the Empress in order to serve the Kingdom. If I had anything to do with it, I would immediately strip you of all your land ownings in the City and confiscate all your wealth, which would put into Tokuno's royal coffers!

    You owe all that you have become to the careful and peaceful oversight of our beloved Empress!