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[EM News] "On the Dark Side."

Discussion in 'UO Baja' started by WarderDragon, Jul 24, 2012.

  1. WarderDragon

    WarderDragon Babbling Loonie
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    "On the Dark Side."
    EM Crysania

    View the original post here.

    What Dark Magic lurks in Umbra? Could the City of Darkness and Necromancy be behind some of the recent disturbances in our lands? A prominent Citizen of Britain has been taken hostage and unless demands are met, they will meet their doom by execution. Your help is desperately needed to find and free this citizen before her murder!

    Event- On the Dark Side
    Date- 7/28/12
    Time: 7pm PST
    Meet: Lord Dupre at his encampment outside of Trinsic - Gate will be provided from WBB Tram
     
  2. Dante of Magincia

    Dante of Magincia Adventurer

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  3. Alouenikah

    Alouenikah Caretaker of Sudiva
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    Umbra sees some activity for the first time in... as long as I've been around.

    Nice to see it getting used for once. I look forward to the news report.
     
    #3 Alouenikah, Jul 28, 2012
    Last edited: Jul 28, 2012
  4. WarderDragon

    WarderDragon Babbling Loonie
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    Turned out to be a rather uninspiring group of thugs in a field north of town.

    But the center of our Vampire - Lich - Hippo love triangle did get an honorable mention.

    [​IMG]
     
  5. Alouenikah

    Alouenikah Caretaker of Sudiva
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    The city needs new leadership! Every ruler for the past two hundred years may have been certifiably insane, but at least the criminal underworld became bold, unconventional and exciting in response.​

    Edit: Any Tarrant that wants to seize power has my vote.
     
    #5 Alouenikah, Jul 29, 2012
    Last edited: Jul 29, 2012
  6. WarderDragon

    WarderDragon Babbling Loonie
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    I'd volunteer a wife, but my DNA receptacles are busy ruling Britannia and Shieba, respectively.
     
  7. Lindae Lives

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    At last count, you had four wives, not including my dutiful self. Don't tell me you've such bad taste in women that it takes two of your ladies to constitute a queen. It doesn't take much to rule Umbra, so long as you've someone to cover for you when you have a psychotic episode and are found grafting a foreign ambassador's genitalia onto the body of a pixie while nude and painted in honey. (Just to fabricate a situation. I don't mean to suggest that Shafiri was ever caught doing such a thing; nor that he tried to blame it on Lord Casca, two years after the latter's death, nor cover up the whole situation by banning pixies, honey and foreign ambassadors from the city. Purely hypothetical.)

    ...I confess that I have no loyalty to Umbra anymore, and to see it under your dubious rule would bring me joy.
     
  8. Lindae Lives

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    Oh, and Tarrant! I don't believe I ever thanked you for your instrumental role in bringing me back to life. I am deeply grateful. Whenever I am having quality time with my husband, I always take a moment to think of the man who made this all possible: you.
     
    #8 Lindae Lives, Jul 31, 2012
    Last edited: Jul 31, 2012
  9. WarderDragon

    WarderDragon Babbling Loonie
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    What can I say? I'm all big boobs and no brains.

    Come to think of it, Lou and I should have an affair. You can watch.
     
    #9 WarderDragon, Jul 31, 2012
    Last edited: Jul 31, 2012
  10. Lindae Lives

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    He delivered himself to you naked and covered in oil, and your response was to drink his blood and cut his arm off. Now you want an affair.

    You are the master of mixed messages.
     
  11. WarderDragon

    WarderDragon Babbling Loonie
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    I call it foreplay.
     
  12. Lindae Lives

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    Ah, now I see where your other two wives went.
     
  13. WarderDragon

    WarderDragon Babbling Loonie
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    I'm a Vampire. You expected any less?

    You also forgot the part about dumping his corpse at the Sea Witch, having Proserpina stitch up his remains, Frankensteining him, getting him addicted to Vampires Blood, and sending him to Parliament naked and on an acid trip. Good times.
     
  14. Lindae Lives

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    It was an eventful fortnight. I cannot be expected to remember every detail. Incidentally, the Umbrian parliament are so eager to erase poor Shafiri's pathetic final months from the history books that Alouenikah is now officially recorded as having killed and eaten him on that fateful day. I wish that I could say that's the strangest recorded death for one of our glorious leaders, but... well... you do know that Umbra is an interesting place.*

    Also, I proposed a threesome to Alouei and he threw a dishcloth at me. Make of that what you will.

    *His real cause of death, which I am led to believe is something along the lines of "Exploded while performing a magical parlour trick", was downright boring by our standards.
     
    #14 Lindae Lives, Jul 31, 2012
    Last edited: Jul 31, 2012
  15. WarderDragon

    WarderDragon Babbling Loonie
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    Tell him I have fudge.
     
  16. Lindae Lives

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    Upon re-reading the report, I see mentions of "demands" by the kidnappers.

    Please tell me - what exactly was the city demanding in return for this unfortunate woman's safety? I do hope they've not resorted to abducting foreign citizens and holding them ransom for vampire blood.

    He has been stockpiling confectionery since my return, for some reason (I think that the recent demand for vanilla makes him fear an international shortage). He has his own considerable bodyweight's worth of fudge stashed under our bed.
     
    #16 Lindae Lives, Jul 31, 2012
    Last edited: Jul 31, 2012
  17. WarderDragon

    WarderDragon Babbling Loonie
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    All of Britain in exchange for the return of her pretty little head.
     
  18. Lindae Lives

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    What? They wanted Britain? In the geographical sense? The actual city?

    I am frankly embarrassed.

    ETA: Skara Brae has superior farmland, is less politically volatile, and - being an island - opens potential conquerors up to less tricky disputes over borderlines. It is also further from the military stronghold of Trinsic, and has an independent figurehead in place (the mayor) who would be easy to kill or exile in order to undermine the confidence of the citizens.

    ...yes, Ifan and I often had late night "What would you do if you invaded Britannia?" discussions, why do you ask.
     
    #18 Lindae Lives, Jul 31, 2012
    Last edited: Jul 31, 2012
  19. WarderDragon

    WarderDragon Babbling Loonie
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    Yup.

    Apparently they didn't realize they could just march in and take it.
     
  20. Lindae Lives

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    It seems that Umbra is still being run by raving lunatics.

    Good. It's rather an integral part of our cultural identity by this point.
     
  21. Lindae Lives

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    Just out of curiosity, did you ever have that memorial orgy that you promised me on my deathbed?
     
  22. WarderDragon

    WarderDragon Babbling Loonie
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  23. Lindae Lives

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    I'm honoured. That covers the two deaths that I've undergone so far, plus my hypothetical third death!
     
  24. SuperKen

    SuperKen Slightly Crazed
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  25. Magdalena Chef

    Magdalena Chef Journeyman
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    Four wives? Really? And dumb too? Interesting. *finishes making pastry puffs fills them with french vanilla custard and silver*

    *....eats pancake and starts the hasenpfeffer...*
     
    #25 Magdalena Chef, Jul 31, 2012
    Last edited: Jul 31, 2012
  26. A Zombie

    A Zombie Adventurer

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    Now there is a treat! Throw some syrup on top and and you have the breakfast brain special !
     
  27. WarderDragon

    WarderDragon Babbling Loonie
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    Nah. You're the hot concubine.

    ...who just so happens to also have big boobs.
     
    #27 WarderDragon, Aug 1, 2012
    Last edited: Aug 1, 2012
  28. Alouenikah

    Alouenikah Caretaker of Sudiva
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    why do you hate me :<
     
  29. WarderDragon

    WarderDragon Babbling Loonie
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    You should be flattered.

    I've never attempted to eat Lindae.
     
  30. Lindae Lives

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    Even though I try so hard to make myself palatable to you.

    What does it take, Nicholas?

    What does it take?!