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Euro-English now the official language of the EU.....

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by Winker, May 18, 2012.

  1. Winker

    Winker Babbling Loonie
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    The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will become the official language of the European Union rather than German or French, which were the other possibilities. But since only the Germans wanted German and only the French wanted French, all the other Member States voted for English.

    But as part of the negotiations, the British Government had to concede that English spelling did have some room for improvement and thus agreed to accept a 5-year, phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".

    In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c"... Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will then be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have one less letter.

    There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f"... This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

    In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

    Also, they expekt that al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should also go away.

    Then by the 4th yer, people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".

    During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ze fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Zen ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

    Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted to do in ze forst plas!

    (Wel if zis mad you smil, ples pas on to oza pepl.)
     
  2. QueenZen

    QueenZen Always Present
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    Well Zank you, zis mad me lauf wiz me morning cofe.

    Of course I live in a nation that has never gotten around to actually announcing it has any official national language.

    Maybe zis will help Usa to. :)
     
  3. Warpig Inc

    Warpig Inc Babbling Loonie
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    As the US working population has learned. It helps to know spannish. Same could be said for the future euro work force to be multi lingo. And to get ahead of the multi lingo world of the future in a few 100 years. Anyone that has watched Firefly/Serenity will know what it is.
     
  4. MalagAste

    MalagAste Belaern d'Zhaunil
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    I always figured it would be much like the movie Blade Runner.... and everyone would speak some mix of english/japanese ...
     
  5. OvenBird

    OvenBird Journeyman
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    Better than being able to spell fish and chips 'ghoti and tchoghs.'*

    *Fish: gh as in tough, o as in women, ti as in nation (courtesy of GB Shaw). Chips: tch as in match, o as in women, gh as in hiccough. C/o the economist
     
  6. Cetric

    Cetric Grand Inquisitor
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    oh man... god a good lol out of this.
     
  7. Magdalene

    Magdalene Stratics Legend
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    OLD.
    and OT.
     
  8. Serine

    Serine Guest

    hihi good one
     
  9. Winker

    Winker Babbling Loonie
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    actually i thought it was on topic to the way people chat in UO. The spelling appears to be the same...

    And if it put a smile on peoples faces, which it appears to have done. Then its nice to brighten up peoples life's with a little humour
     
  10. RaDian FlGith

    RaDian FlGith Babbling Loonie
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    Zat vas zie funiest zink I haf red al day.