Hail Folks! *waves* Next week marks the unofficial, official Festival of the Steel Phallus event-event-event-vent-*echoes*! While wandering foreign lands, I've come across a very supportive and amazing celebration in which the people of this particular foreign country would celebrate that which can be phallic. It is for one's prosperity and protection. You're probably wondering, "Xel, how is it that you have such a shapely arse after all these years???" To that, I answer, "Eat right, get a full night's sleep, exercise and drink a lot of sake." Let me repeat that last phrase, "drink a lot of sake". You may also be wondering, "Xel, how can I participate in this unofficial, official Festival of the Steel Phallus???" To that, I answer, "It's quite easy. While you're in-game, all you have to do is *stand erect* and say the magic phrase 'Cheers to the Steel Phallus!'" By inciting this phrase, you will be invoking a power so great, so potent, partly sticky, that you WILL feel its awesome power. Think of it like a Spellweaver's Focus Crystal thingy but multiply its potency by 69. My friends, my fellow travelers in Sosaria... To those who farm the fields, to those who work the forge, to those who practice the Arcane, to those who forgot to put their underwear on because you had one too many the other night... I raise my sake bottle to all of you and wish you the very best! "Cheers to the Steel Phallus!" This event starts today.