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Its time to look for a wife for the King

Discussion in 'UHall' started by I was there the other day, Feb 22, 2015.

  1. I was there the other day

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    He should be old enough.
    He has enough experience on ruling Britania.
    We need to have successor if something happens to the King.

    And a female hand will help him to bring order to this world!

    Enough said.
     
    EM_Bennu likes this.
  2. sablestorm

    sablestorm Certifiable
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    The last wife of the king had an affair with ImaNewbie!
     
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  3. Smoot

    Smoot Grand Poobah
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    He's a robot... he has no use for a wife.
     
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  4. BeaIank

    BeaIank Babbling Loonie
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    What if the king fancies men instead of women?
    This is also a distinct possibility and I wouldn't want to force your Evilness into a fake, forced marriage!
     
  5. MalagAste

    MalagAste Belaern d'Zhaunil
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    I always thought he and Heckles had something going on... But if he fancies a woman. I agree he should wed. Produce an heir. Now politically he could marry the Sultan's daughter. That would put Nu'Jelm under Britannian rule at some point. If we can't force them to stop slavery by force we can do it when we take them over.

    Or he could marry the Empress of Tokuno... consider all the land that would gain. Don't really think inter-species is a good idea so that puts out Queen Zhah. Doubtful they could have children.
     
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  6. old gypsy

    old gypsy Grand Poobah
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    All monarchs should be celibate. :scholar:
     
  7. Dot_Warner

    Dot_Warner Babbling Loonie
    Governor Stratics Veteran Britain [BRIT]

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    Heckles for queen!
     
  8. Bobar

    Bobar Babbling Loonie
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  9. BeaIank

    BeaIank Babbling Loonie
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    I approve of this idea.
     
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  10. Andrasta

    Andrasta Goodman's Rune Library
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    EM_Bennu likes this.
  11. Piotr

    Piotr Stratic's Finest
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    That might actually work!

    Imagine they had twins. Both were born with only one wing, one left and one right. Now insert some story about how they grew up apart from eachother and thus they were raised differently. Eventually our King and Queen dies and one should think, that the twins would inherit the throne. But no.

    They renounce their royalty and form each their political party; The Left Wing and The Right Wing - democracy is born! :smile2:
     
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  12. old gypsy

    old gypsy Grand Poobah
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    Kids always surprise you, don't they? :rolleyes:
     
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  13. Aran

    Aran INFRACTION INFRACTION INFRACTION!
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    Men marry women. That's the natural order of things.
     
  14. Zerbee

    Zerbee Journeyman
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    pls dont bring opinions of politics into a gaming forum
     
  15. Aran

    Aran INFRACTION INFRACTION INFRACTION!
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    Yeah I'm totally the one who brought it up. You caught me. I wasn't responding to anyone
     
  16. Victim of Siege

    Victim of Siege Crazed Zealot
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    Just give him a cat, don't make his life so complicated . . .
     
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  17. sablestorm

    sablestorm Certifiable
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    Rumor has it that the Sherry the Mouse character was based on a girlfriend RG was dating when Ultima 6 was released. Maybe Blackthorn can find love down in his dungeons. They can go all 50 Shades of Grey.
     
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  18. TandaBSK

    TandaBSK Seasoned Veteran
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    Celibate and Grouchy? I like the Nujel'm merger but met their princess and well, I hope she's wealthy cause it would take a lot of cash to over come that personality.
     
  19. Aran

    Aran INFRACTION INFRACTION INFRACTION!
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    It's not like kings really care about consent after all
     
  20. Lindae Lives

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    I would like to nominate myself as Queen of Britannia. My credentials:

    1) I am the heir of an ancient noble family from Umbra. We have fallen on hard times financially, but our pedigree is immaculate.
    2) I can raise the dead, albeit as conglomerate columns of lumbering maggot-infested meat. Lady Dawn could walk the streets of Britain once again!
    3) I am very fit and comely for an eighty-year-old (unless my phylactery is damaged, whereupon I start looking, quite frankly, like a dog's breakfast.)
    4) I think Blackthorn is ravishingly handsome, even if he is a robot.
    5) I have been married seven times, so there is little conduct in the marital home or bed that shocks me anymore.
    6) I am a good Jewish boy, exactly the type of steady and responsible support that a busy king needs.
    7) I look magnificent in a gown.
    8) I am intensely queenly in my bearing and philosophy.
    9) I come from the Baja shard, so I understand loneliness and isolation.
    10) I have a wonderful collection of petrified dragon hearts at home. Some of them are many thousands of years old! I will present this as my dowry. In addition, I can offer some beautiful sterling silver teaspoons; a jarful of sand from Lenmir Anfinmotas; three pieces of bloodmoss; a bone from an unspecified animal; and my pet guinea pig, Hatchet.

    I hope that his lordship sees fit to respond to my proposal. I am eager to begin courtship immediately.
     
  21. The Slug

    The Slug Seasoned Veteran
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    Yup, and as soon as you attempted to movie aluoee and molokha in the King would have your head. Other than that? why not? *shrugs*

    Oh and I'm in with you on #9

    Also if it doesnt work out I am also trying to rid myself of a certain she-goblin.

    She isn't housebroken, leads a rebel army, and has sworn to kill the King and take over his empire, but other than that it might work. Of course any proposal by the King would need to be written in finger paint and have lots of pictures
     
  22. Lindae Lives

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    *elbows the slug surreptitiously, grits teeth, doesn't change his Miss America expression* shut uuuuup
     
  23. Lindae Lives

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    *hisses* I'm realising that our only collective hope for social advancement is if I personally marry my mouldering ancient old self off to some upstart noble! If that is the false king of Britannia, then so be it. They all look the same when their bones are wasting away in some dank desolate underground corner of Ilshenar and I'm sitting atop their mountain of gold. Don't you ruin this for me, you slithery yutz! Or it's the saltmines for you!
     
  24. The Slug

    The Slug Seasoned Veteran
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    Whoa! Ok *backs off slowly*
     
  25. Lindae Lives

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    *looks back at the bystanders* Ha. Ha haha. Please don't listen to my slimy friend, he doesn't understand the intricacies of arranging a political marriage... he is, you see, a mere mollusc.
     
  26. Modoc

    Modoc Journeyman

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    Being a Robot maybe a Wife has a use for Him :smooch:
     
  27. GalenKnighthawke

    GalenKnighthawke Grand Poobah
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    Shall I assume everyone is kidding about Blackthorn being a robot, or are there folks that missed the fiction from a few years back?

    As to the Bride of Blackthorn idea, it's an intriguing notion, but it has its negatives and its positives.

    -Galen's player
     
  28. Lindae Lives

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    With the state this wretched world is in, I have no idea who is or isn't a robot anymore. I could be a robot for all I know.
     
  29. Dot_Warner

    Dot_Warner Babbling Loonie
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    Wow, what a completely F-ed up CV! If Heckles is too drunk to finally ask for Blackthorn's hand in the marriage we all know they want, you have my vote! :D
     
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  30. Lindae Lives

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    Thank you, dear. Your kind support means a lot to me.
     
  31. BeaIank

    BeaIank Babbling Loonie
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    I am still team Heckles, but yes, since he is so shy and drunk to do the right thing, Lindae can definitely step up for the spot.
    But remember, boys have cooties and King Blackthorn, as rugged and handsome as he is, is still a boy.
     
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  32. Victim of Siege

    Victim of Siege Crazed Zealot
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    we all know he isn't a Robot, because he's a Zombie!!
     
  33. Amber Witch

    Amber Witch Slightly Crazed
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    All I can say is...

    NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NONONONONONONO!!!!

    You haven't the foggiest. Trust me on this.

    The world as we know it would be.. I don't have the words. There aren't words.

    Upside down, inside out, torture, chaos, pandemonium sprinkled with cookies, puppies and sordid confusion.
    Meanwhile scratching our heads while laughing hysterically trying to make it to the bathroom before peeing our pants.

    Those that know, know this is truth.

    And I love Aloooeeepallooee, Lindae and sometimes Momo.
     
  34. GalenKnighthawke

    GalenKnighthawke Grand Poobah
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    Look up the fiction on UO.com related to the storyline known as "The Awakening." This was the scenario that included the death of the real Exodus, the Gargish Blight, the Honor Moongate disruption, (most important today) the return of Blackthorn, etc.

    The gist of it is that the Borg Blackthorn we fought was a copy, and the real one was imprisoned by Exodus.

    Here is one: http://www.uo.com/article/Awakening-Act-VII

    What we see now is the real one. Hence, not a robot, until and unless the writers change their minds. (But that's always the case with any fiction, to one degree or another.) Or, unless you're going to pull an Ancient Aliens on me and say it's incumbent upon me to show he's NOT a robot. In which case all I can say is that if I somehow could confirm it, you could just say I'm hiding the evidence.

    Anyway back to the main topic of this thread: A royal romance, a royal wedding, and, potentially, a royal heir. It's an intriguing notion, but I have mixed feelings. For one thing, with our luck it'd turn out to be Minax, Heckles, or both.

    -Galen's player
     
  35. Lindae Lives

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    That's not a problem, so am I.
     
  36. Lindae Lives

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    Really, though, you cannot possibly have a Queen named Heckles. How abysmal! Britannia would be the laughing stock of the entire realm. Which it already is, but there's always room for it to fall still further in our estimation.
     
  37. Smoot

    Smoot Grand Poobah
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    Everyone knows hes a false King tho. Blackthorn valued Chaos and was always the counterbalance to British's Virtues. Our current King (if he really is who he says he is) is not to be trusted, as at his core he values the chaos in the world.

    In short, i dont buy the story we were fed, and many other UO players do not as well. It may make for a good plot twist tho when his true nature is revealed.

    Plus, he doesnt look like us. His avatar looks like an alien, so he is possibly an alien robot, which would actually fit in with current Atlantic lore.

    in regards to the original topic, if Blackthorn took a wife and produced offspring it would at least give him a little more validity that he is in fact human. Currently we have nothing really to assure us of this.
     
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  38. Dot_Warner

    Dot_Warner Babbling Loonie
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    download (3).jpg
     
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  39. The Slug

    The Slug Seasoned Veteran
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    Before I throw in my support, what is your stance on the Goblin's front of Sosaria? or is it the Sosarian Goblin's front? I keep forgetting. Anyway favoring goblin independence will gain you my support. (As I plan on being The Goblin Ambassador of their new empire) I do accept bribes and my record of corruption as Governor is Skara Brae is nearly unmatched. Don't look at me like that's a bad thing!
     
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  40. BeaIank

    BeaIank Babbling Loonie
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    His Evilness the king Britain needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
    I have fully pledged alliance to his Evilness.
     
  41. MalagAste

    MalagAste Belaern d'Zhaunil
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    Perhaps all the available Duchess's of the land should gather at the Castle and he should pick from them like one of those Bachelor shows. Take them each out... He will need to produce an Heir or we will have to go back to having no King again after awhile.

    Now the Lady Willa of the Yew-wood, Duchess of Yew would be a good choice... she's already had one child. So obviously she can get the job done. I'm sure she could look the other way.... while he and Heckles did whatever. She will however need a Palace in Yew built and will insist that some green be added to the Castle. And a large Yew Tree be planted in the courtyard.
     
  42. Victim of Siege

    Victim of Siege Crazed Zealot
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    Soap and water is all it takes to fix the Goblin issue.
     
  43. BeaIank

    BeaIank Babbling Loonie
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    I am starting to think that if we want a ruler that can have an offspring, we, maidens of Sosaria should just overthrown him, so that in the place of a Dark Lord you would have a Queen! Not dark but beautiful and terrible as the Morn! Treacherous as the Seas! Stronger than the foundations of the Earth! All shall love her and despair!

    That would solve a lot of problems.
     
  44. The Slug

    The Slug Seasoned Veteran
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    You need to deal with goblins more. They consider soap a delicacy as it causes their flatulence to be bubbly
     
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  45. Victim of Siege

    Victim of Siege Crazed Zealot
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    not when it's combine with water, Baths are worse to a goblin than acid or death
     
  46. Lindae Lives

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    A friend of mine has drawn this helpful diagram to encourage His Majesty to make the only correct choice.

    [​IMG]

    It is worth mentioning that said friend has never seen Lord Blackthorn, so I described him as best I could. I do believe the resulting likeness is uncanny.
     
  47. Dot_Warner

    Dot_Warner Babbling Loonie
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  48. Riyana

    Riyana Operations
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    I'm not so convinced on @Lindae Lives 's qualifications, but I cannot fault his forwardness and initiative!
     
  49. old gypsy

    old gypsy Grand Poobah
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    *nods* The goblins of Pitmuck have been whispering this among themselves for a long time.
     
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  50. old gypsy

    old gypsy Grand Poobah
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    -
    Tsk, tsk... a common misconception. Goblins do enjoy bathing, as long as the compost tea bathwater has aged long enough. And they adore bubbles!
     
  51. whiterabbit

    whiterabbit Stratics Legend
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    BUBBLES ...YAY
    AN BALLONS
    AN FIREWERKS