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[News] Castor Dead? Test Results Prove False

Discussion in 'UO Siege Perilous' started by Guest, Oct 10, 2006.

  1. Guest

    Guest Guest

    <table width="100%" align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="10" > <tr> <td align="center"><span><font size="24px">Castor Dead? Test Results Prove False</font></span></td> </tr> <tr valign="top"> <td>[​IMG]

    UMBRA, MALAS, SIEGE PERILOUS -</p>

    &quot;You can't be dead you sexy animal!&quot; exclaimed Zento's Mayor Pollux, as he threw himself upon the coffin in front of him. Mayor Pollux was extremely shocked to see what seemed to be the remains of his brother Castor, known as the infamous muscle throbbing vigilante of Siege Perilous.</p>

    &quot;I can't believe he's dead!&quot; said Omni, guild member of TnT and bystander of the surprise funeral. &quot;There's no way he can be dead all of a sudden. It's impossible, Castor just doesn't die!&quot;</p>

    Earlier, Umbra citizens were surprised to see the casket, seats, flowers, and podium near the moongate. Soon thereafter Umbra authorities were notified, and sent some guards and necromancers to observe the scene. &quot;I've seen dead bodies,&quot; said one guard that was on patrol. &quot;But I've never seen such an arrangement materialize all of a sudden like this in my whole career.&quot;</p>

    After the funeral was held, Umbra's necromantic experts took the corpse as well as evidence in for testing. Other than the corpse, there were pieces of paper inside the coffin. Scrawled on one of the papers, was a note saying: &quot;Rest in Pieces, Castor.&quot;</p>

    [​IMG]The city's experts debated on the possible causes of death. Some thought that the overuse of parasitic poison killed him. Others believed the extreme amount of testosterone in Castor's system caused one of his muscles to pop, causing internal bleeding in the body. Since these &quot;experts&quot; were in constant debate, the authorities in charge decided to bring the case up to an independent, more specialized investigation group.</p>

    The CSI: Sosaria team was brought up to take over investigation on the Castor death case. Over the course of several weeks, a lot of inconsistencies were found in authority reports, as well as evidence from the body.</p>

    Thanks to the cooperation of Mayor Pollux, his blood sample was taken in to compare with the corpse. CSI: Sosaria has documented that Pollux's blood has 1/600th of the amount of male hormones and testosterone when compared to his brother Castor. With this, they found out that the corpse in question was way too close to Pollux's HTC (Hormone and Testosterone Count), therefore the corpse was a fraud. CSI: Sosaria was still investigating who was trying to play this practical joke, and who's corpse was inside the coffin. However, with the proof that Castor wasn't dead, it was decided that the case should become closed.</p>

    The appropriate people related to the matter were all notified of the results, which brought relief to some and some expletives from others. Case closed.</p>

    -Masuo Kenji, Siege Perilous News Reporter </p></td> </tr> </table>
     
  2. Sloan

    Sloan Guest

    LOL.... Awesome report!! [​IMG]
     
  3. Guest

    Guest Guest

    I KNEW it couldn't be true! I was so certain, in fact, that I even held off making a substantial mourning wardrobe...although I do look fabulous in black. [​IMG]

    Well wishers came by to pay their respects, and left tributes on the coffin, as was appropriate for the prevailing opinion of the time, though, that he had indeed met his demise.

    [​IMG]

    -Skylark
     
  4. Ton80

    Ton80 Guest

    HA! I knew It!

    I knew he was faking his own death to get out of all those war invites!

    And the Blaze Lives on!
     
  5. Guest

    Guest Guest

    *chuckles* We will try harder next time.
     
  6. Mandolin

    Mandolin Guest

    Undoubtedly, it was my corpse used to dupe the masses. With so many laying around, nobody was going to notice one missing. [​IMG]

    Great report, Masuo!! Keep 'em coming!!
     
  7. Guest

    Guest Guest

    *claps*

    Great report!
     
  8. Maleeka

    Maleeka Guest

    Excellent! Keep them coming Masou. *smiles*
     
  9. Guest

    Guest Guest

    Thanks guys. My next article will be later in the week.
     
  10. Guest

    Guest Guest

    Another investigative report I presume.
     
  11. Guest

    Guest Guest

    Depends on what I feel like, I like to try out different things.
     
  12. Ton80

    Ton80 Guest

    OMG!

    Kenji in Drag!

    I hope that's not what you meant.... [​IMG]
     
  13. Guest

    Guest Guest

    <blockquote><hr>

    OMG!

    Kenji in Drag!

    I hope that's not what you meant.... [​IMG]

    [/ QUOTE ]

    LOL

    Sadly, I'm not as daring as Blind Otto in that regard!
     
  14. Great Story Kenji keep them coming...hehe I love the CSI:Sosari's lab......wished I hadn't missed the funeral though.....even though it wasnt Castor's *smiles*
     
  15. you cant stop, what cant be stopped
    cant kill, what cant be killed...
     
  16. Wulf2k

    Wulf2k Stratics Legend
    Stratics Veteran Stratics Legend Crusader of Chaos

    Joined:
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    Luckily, neither of those exclude locking in a cage and poking with sticks in between beatings.

    ...Except maybe the stopping part, but I'm sure some sort of hamster ball contraption could be rigged up.
     
  17. Guest

    Guest Guest

    *claps*

    A fantastic report! Well done!

    I'm also glad to hear that Castor isn't dead. After all, the sudden loss of THAT much blaze from Siege could cause disturbances in space-time, and before you knew it, we'd all be wearing blaze leggings and.... oh. Oh dear. My condolences.