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[News] Ducks Cry Fowl

Discussion in 'UO Sonoma' started by JaydeSilverhart, Mar 18, 2006.

  1. As I waited for the merriment at the Yew Merry Center for All to begin, I found myself deep in conversation with... a duck. Now, before you say I had too much of the Dew, realize this important truth:

    <center>THERE ARE DUCKS AMONG US.

    AND THEY ARE ANGRY.
    </center>

    It seems that the ducks feel that we as Sosarians haven't done enough to welcome ducks into our society, a claim bolstered by the integration of elves into our midst last year. I sat down to talk to Gypsy Queen, the self-proclaimed Quackmaster of the Ducks of Sonoma, and agreed to give her this forum in which to air her duckish grievances.

    <center>
    [​IMG]</center>

    I asked about the peculiar nature of her yellow garb, hoping to start the interview on a relatively benign note. "What else would a duck be wearing, then, eh? Sheesh! You reporters! No common sense!" was her retort. In the mythical land of Florida where I was raised, ducks are brown, but apparently Gypsy feels that the ducks are disguising themselves as squirrels to evade persecution.

    I thought perhaps if I gained a bit of insight into the duckish language, I might be able to better understand their culture and its plight. According to the Gypsy Queen, the sentence structure calls for a verb, a noun, and a quack, such as Quack feed me! or Feed me quack! The habit of quacking nearly anywhere in a sentence was later copied by the mischeivous Smurfs, though the use of 'smurf' as virtually any part of speech was more widely accepted by oppressive duck-haters.

    Additionally, ducks can convert Sosarian words into Duckish simply by changing the first letter to a 'Q'. A trailing 'U' is sometimes, but not always, added, depending on the region from which the duck hails.

    As an exercise for you, the reader, try translating these sentences into Duckish:


    [*] I wish to lock this down.

    [*] How much lumber could a lumberjack jack, if a lumberjack could jack lumber?

    [*] Guards, bring me my bank box from the stable while I sing Recsu Reedu!


    Gypsy goes on to extol Scrooge McDuck, champion of duckish rights and philanthropist to many duckish causes, as a smart, handsome and powerful individual, if a bit eccentric. She also praises the cinematic mastery of Howard the Duck, which captivated audiences worldwide for all of sixteen and a half minutes.

    As to why these noble, powerful creatures aren't often seen in dungeons or patrolling the Feluccan spawns, Gypsy replied, "We're pacifists, I should note. More like cowards, really." She also claims not to know whether duck feathers really are best suited for fletching arrows.

    Gypsy and her duckish friends respectfully demand that the citizenry of Britannia refrain from making references to roast or Peking duck in her presence, as well as halt the customary tossing of Szechwan sauce packets at her and her kin.

    <center>
    [​IMG]</center>
     
  2. shivan

    shivan Guest

    Indeed.

    Gypsy seems to have an aversion to elves as I am always greeted with the moniker "pointy ears". She has even gone so far as to hand me some elf ears as though they may be mine... ewww

    Hmm, wonder if duck feathers make straighter flying arrows? I know her little bottom is soft and would probably make a good pillow.

    Quack!!
     
  3. Rotte

    Rotte Guest

    Pan Roasted Duck Breast with Coffee Maple Glaze

    Preparation Time: 15 minutes
    Cooking Time: 25 minutes
    Serves: 4

    Ingredients

    1-1/2 lbs. ducks, marinated overnight with olive oil and 2 Tbs. maple syrup
    1 oz. maple syrup
    1 oz. espresso
    3 oz. meat sauce
    2 spaghetti squash
    2 oz. pine nuts, roasted
    2 oz. pine nuts oil
    1 Tbsp. butter
    2 Tbsps. honey
    rosemary
    salt and pepper

    Instructions:
    Prepare squash: split squash lengthwise, remove seeds with a spoon. Add honey and butter into both halves. Cover with foil and bake in a preheated oven at temperature 400°F until you can remove squash with a fork easily. Mix the squash in a bowl and adjust seasoning. Reserve hot.

    Prepare sauce: in a small sauce pot combine espresso, maple syrup and meat sauce. Reserve hot on the side to cook duck. Arrange breasts in a sauté pan that is roomy enough so they won't touch each other. Turn on heat to high when you have rendered out some of the fat. Baste breasts with it, reduce heat and continue to baste meat. Cook approximately 5 minutes on fat side. At this point, flip breasts and return pan to high heat. Sear on skin side approximately 1 minute and remove from pan to rest 3-4 minutes.

    Place a small portion of squash onto center of each preheated plate. Slice beasts crosswise against the grain as thinly as possible (an electric knife works well). Place slices decoratively around squash. Spoon over and around sauce. Add pine nuts around plate and light drizzle with pine nuts oil.

    Bon Apetit
     
  4. As the father of a 6 month old baby girl who frequently watches "Curious Buddies Visit The Farm" with his daughter....I can tell you that the answer would be *singing* Quack quack waddle waddle all day long, quack quack waddle waddle sing a duck song...
     
  5. Jagerstadt

    Jagerstadt Journeyman
    Stratics Veteran Stratics Legend

    Joined:
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    I love the duck.
     
  6. Calell

    Calell Guest

    Agreed, even being an elf, I &lt;3 GQ...she is the coolest. Quack!
     
  7. I knew good old Gypsy Queen for well over 3, hell maybe even 4 years now. Always getting greeted with "That damn river rat" by her, which is quickly followed up by damn yankee towards her. Not only does she play her part with her guild.. I think there was actually I time I joined it years ago when she first formed it, not sure lol.



    - Hey Lefty, they got us on candit camera! Those sneaky people's.
     
  8. Quack

    Quack Guest

    I hope you've all enjoyed a laugh at our expense. While you sit in your comfortable homes, surrounded by the wealth and privilege afforded to you by your species, we suffer. Denied lodgings in your inns, entrance to your taverns, service at your banks, and acceptance among your hunting parties. And for what? Webbed feat? Feathers? Hypocrites! I'd sooner be yellow than caught dead in your neon whites, blues, oranges, and greens.

    Your names will all be recorded, and there will come a great reckoning! Mark the words of the one-who-knows. All those who are not with us (there is still time to join the righteous), are against us. And we're the ducks of the world.

    Oh! Also:

    Keep away from my bottom, pointy ears.

    Mimi: The turtles are fallen and the rain stands still. Which is code for "I think I owe you some regs."

    Calell: I concur regarding my coolness. (I heart you, too, because you remind me of Superman. If he was a she and an elf. And tougher, too.)

    Shouldn't you be corrupting eight year olds, river rat?
     
  9. Lady Vixen

    Lady Vixen Guest

    <blockquote><hr>

    I hope you've all enjoyed a laugh at our expense. While you sit in your comfortable homes, surrounded by the wealth and privilege afforded to you by your species, we suffer. Denied lodgings in your inns, entrance to your taverns, service at your banks, and acceptance among your hunting parties. And for what? Webbed feat? Feathers? Hypocrites! I'd sooner be yellow than caught dead in your neon whites, blues, oranges, and greens.

    Your names will all be recorded, and there will come a great reckoning! Mark the words of the one-who-knows. All those who are not with us (there is still time to join the righteous), are against us. And we're the ducks of the world.

    Oh! Also:

    Keep away from my bottom, pointy ears.

    Mimi: The turtles are fallen and the rain stands still. Which is code for "I think I owe you some regs."

    Calell: I concur regarding my coolness. (I heart you, too, because you remind me of Superman. If he was a she and an elf. And tougher, too.)

    Shouldn't you be corrupting eight year olds, river rat?

    [/ QUOTE ]

    [​IMG]

    She set his clock!
     
  10. Quack

    Quack Guest

    ....that's clearly an imposter. *cough*
     
  11. Quack

    Quack Guest

    Because you brought me crackers (as all good humans/elves should), I can only assume that you mention this barbaric practice out of concern for ducks and not because you frequent such establishments.

    It would seem that the problem is far worse than even I could have imagined. No matter. In light of Jayde's discovery, we have no other recourse but to declare war on Tokuno.

    Even the ninjas will have difficulty hiding from our vengeance.

    Quack!
     
  12. Quack

    Quack Guest