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[News]Kendrick Morrow Ruins Tavern Night!

Discussion in 'Imperium News Service' started by Lord Gareth, Aug 31, 2011.

  1. Lord Gareth

    Lord Gareth UO Content Editor | UO Chesapeake & Rares News
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    Kendrick Morrow Ruins Tavern Night!, The Keg and Anchor, Trinsic on Wednesday, August 24th 2011

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    *Before reading Please note this news report is written by the in-game character Sarberius*

    The waitress Symeria was hosting a delightfully wonderful Tavern Night at the Keg and Anchor, which quickly turned sour as Kendrick Morrow dared to show his disgustingly vile face. He entered the tavern like his cloak didn’t stink and his hands weren’t drenched in the Innocent Blood of township inhabitants and citizens of the land.

    He placed what was probably his last bit of gold into her strong box as he ordered some steak which I hope she rolled on the floor before serving it to him. While awaiting his food he put on a magic show, his tricks were about as impressive as a clowns from the Sosarian Solstice Fairgrounds.

    No wait the clowns tricks are actually far more impressive then Kendrick Morrows! They also have something else that Kendrick Morrow lacks….a pewter bowl to leek in. His show may have been more impressive if he had pulled a Noble Title out of his hat instead of bright neon bunny rabbits that later destroyed the floor of the tavern!

    All tavern owners from Trinsic to Moonglow should add another sign below their no service sign.

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    Thankfully other events saved the tavern night from being a total loss, thanks to Kendrick Poorow. Paladins proving once and for all that they are insane!! One began chasing PaxLair Times reporter Ashlynn around the bar while swinging his sword at her with an insane hardy laugh. The best homemade cookies that I ever did have the pleasure of eating which were baked by Symeria and Governor Winfield of the PaxLair Statehood who sang to us his song “Fish Song”

    Winfield's Fish Song
    Written by Governor Winfield

    Pay the monger, pay his fee.
    We have to get out to the sea.
    Load the cargo, get underway.
    We just can’t wait another day!


    CHORUS
    Bait my hook. Cast my line. Fishing is my way of life.


    Unfurl the sail, pick up speed.
    Our poles are ready for the deed.
    Man yer stations, I do say.
    No time for games or your horseplay!


    CHORUS
    Bait my hook. Cast my line. Fishing is my way of life.


    Watch for pirates, they’re on the loose.
    Fire the cannon and give ‘em the juice.
    Take no prisoners, this ain’t the day.
    They’d slow us down & get in our way!


    CHORUS
    Bait my hook. Cast my line. Fishing is my way of life.


    Drop the anchor, set the mast.
    The fish are here — we found at last.
    Hook a serpent, get a sword.
    Kill it quickly without a word!


    CHORUS
    Bait my hook. Cast my line. Fishing is my way of life.


    Catch the fish, fill our hold.
    Markets are waiting and have our gold.
    Raise the anchor, head due west.
    Follow the sun while I take a rest!


    CHORUS
    Bait my hook. Cast my line. Fishing is my way of life.


    We’ve come to port, our hold is filled.
    A better catch than we had willed.
    Sell the fish, get some grub.
    I’m buying ale at the nearest pub!!!


    CHORUS
    Bait my hook. Cast my line. Fishing is my way of life.