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[News] Wanted: A few good pens

Discussion in 'UO Siege Perilous' started by Guest, Feb 13, 2007.

  1. Guest

    Guest Guest

    <table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="1" width="100%" bgcolor="black" style="font-family:Arial; color:WhiteSmoke"> <tr> <td align="center"> [​IMG] </td> </tr> </table> <table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" width="100%" bgcolor="#6e6e6e" style="font-family:Arial; color:Navy "> <tr> <td align="right"> [​IMG] </td><td></td> </tr> <tr> <td> <font face="Arial" size="5" style="font-weight:bold; color:Red">S</font>iege is a dangerous place, indeed, especially when one cannot see it.
    The thing is, I seem to have *ahem* misplaced a lot of reporters lately, somehow.

    Beatrice suggests that I might want to change my socks, or perhaps pay Buccaneer's Den facilities a visit more than twice a year, but I laugh at such suggestions!

    No, it seems to me that this must be the most dangerous, the most challenging of tasks!
    A task so daunting, even the bravest warriors of the land have to think not twice, but three times, before approaching it!
    A task which I, in all due modesty, face regularly! So, you say, am I not up to the task? Of course I am!

    However, since I need to sleep for at least part of the day, I require assistance with the reporting!
    Sooner or later, the air will be filled with the anguished howls of those who are deprived of their news - and this cannot be!

    And so, while I wait for good Masou to come off life support, after a misleading tip lead him to a nest of ancient wyrms, rather than a story,
    I have dusted off this scroll, and present it here to you!
    </td> <td valign="top"> [​IMG]
    [​IMG] </td> </tr> </table> <table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" width="100%" bgcolor="black" style="font-family:Arial; color:Azure; "> <tr> <td bgcolor="black" width="25" height="25"> </td> <td bgcolor="black"> </td> <td bgcolor="black" width="25" height="25"> </td> </tr> <tr> <td bgcolor="black"></td> <td align="center"> [​IMG] </td> <td bgcolor="black"></td> </tr> <tr> <td bgcolor="black"></td> <td><font color="white"> Are your shoes worn thin from traveling from town to town?
    Is your voice hoarse and sore from speaking with citizens across Britannia?
    Have a knack for putting pen to paper and writing an excellent story?
    Then perhaps UO Stratics' Siege Perilous News Page is the place where you can not only show off your talent,
    but also help bring the community together with interesting, exciting stories and news items about Siege Perilous and her citizens.

    UO Stratics is currently looking for active, talented citizens of Siege to add to our team of Ultima Online reporters.

    As a volunteer you are required to:

    * Be a competent writer.
    * Be an active, knowledgeable member of the Siege Perilous community.
    * Be willing to attend events and quests, interview VIPs, report news of interest to the community.
    * Be able to dedicate a minimum of six hours per week to writing and/or posting news items.
    * Make regular posts onto the Siege Perilous News.
    * Accept occasional article assignments from your Shard News Manager.
    * Have a familiarity with basic HTML.
    * Be pro-active.


    Does the above describe you? Then what are you waiting for???
    Apply... right now... do not hesitate!

    Simply send off your answers to the questions in the box below, either via e-mail to [email protected],
    or in a PM to "El of LA" (or Blind Otto) with "Siege Perilous Reporter Application" as the subject.
    Please note, if your sample is lengthy, email is recommended, due to the limitations on PM size.

    </font> </td> <td bgcolor="black"></td> </tr> <tr> <td bgcolor="black"></td> <td align="center"> [​IMG] </td> <td bgcolor="black"></td> </tr> <tr> <td background="http://uo.stratics.com/newspics/siege/scroll_middle_left.jpg"></td> <td> <table border="1" width="90%" align="center" bgcolor="white" style="color:Black" bordercolor="gold"> <tr> <td> Please list your:
    1. Real name.
    2. Age. In human years, please. Not orcish years, wolf years, etc.
    3. Contact e-mail address.
    4. ICQ, AIM, MSN number (if applicable).
    5. Stratics username and UO character name (this must be the character name you will be reporting with).

    Also, please
    6. Rate your HTML knowledge from 1-10, where 1 is poor and 10 is phenomenal.
    7. Answer this: Why do you wish to be a shard reporter for UO Stratics?
    8. Include a brief writing sample, no more than 500 words (no attachments).
    9. Send us any questions you have on the position or responsibilities! </td> </tr> </table> </td> <td bgcolor="black"></td> </tr> <tr> <td bgcolor="black"></td> <td align="center"> [​IMG] </td> <td bgcolor="black"></td> </tr> <tr> <td bgcolor="black" width="25" height="25"> </td> <td bgcolor="black"> </td> <td bgcolor="black" width="25" height="25"> </td> </tr> </table> <table border="0" cellpadding="1" cellspacing="1" width="100%" bgcolor="black" style="font-family:Arial; color:GhostWhite"> <tr> <td><font color="white">
    Feeling a bit daunted by a 'full' reporting role, but would still like to give it a try?

    Well, perhaps one of these would suit you more!
    If you see a position which would interest you below, please send the same
    information as requested above, but add the following line at the top of your message:
    <font face="MS Sans Serif" color="lime">"Blind Otto's Siege Specialist Scheme"</font>
    Also indicate which position you would be interested in.
    If you can think of a reporting style that you would enjoy, and think you can
    turn in articles of that nature at least once a month, then let me know!

    These are intended to be 'micro reporting' jobs,
    with a smaller time commitment than the 'jack of all trades' reporting positions.
    </font> </td> </tr> </table> <table border="1" cellpadding="1" cellspacing="1" width="100%" bgcolor="black" style="font-family:Arial; color:WhiteSmoke" bordercolor="Gold" align="center"> <tr><td>&nbsp</td> <td valign="top"><font color="white"> Siege War Reporter

    Do you enjoy life in the trenches, but more as an observer than a fighter?
    Do you speak fluent OooOOooo?
    Can you report on battles in an impartial, unbiased manner?
    Can you sneak behind enemy lines, to provide coverage of ongoing feuds, wars, and mud wrestling?
    If so, a career as a Stratics diplomat awaits you!
    Apply today!</font> </td> <td valign="top"><font color="white"> Siege Cultural Reporter

    You have an eye for smartly dressed citizens?
    You notice and appreciate fine works of architecture and decor?
    You are the person who is forever opening peoples paperdolls,
    and reading their profiles?
    We need a voyeur like you!
    Apply today!</font> </td><td>&nbsp</td> </tr> <tr><td>&nbsp</td> <td valign="top"><font color="white"> Siege Gossip Columnist

    Aha! Now here's a job with a bit of meat on it!
    However, tis not as easy as you might think!
    If you have an ear for juicy gossip,
    but ALSO have the tact and diplomacy to remain within the
    RoC, then this is the job for you!
    This is not a 'licence to flame', but rather
    a chance to inform all and sundry of those little
    secrets that you heard lurking in the back corner of
    Krystal's house!

    (wiretaps not provided.) </font> </td> <td valign="top"><font color="white"> Siege Advice Manager

    Are you broad shouldered, and don't mind getting them damp?
    Do you have a lightning quick wit, and a heart of lead?
    Can you dish out advice on all topics, from romance to raids?
    Then we need you!

    Have your dreams come true, as Siege's own agony aunt,
    and get a smidgeon of respect for putting up with everyone's constant complaining!</font> </td><td>&nbsp</td> </tr> </table> <table border="0" width="100%" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" bgcolor="black" style="color:White; font-family:Arial"> <tr> <td align="center">
    [​IMG] </td> </tr> </table> <table border="0" width="100%" bgcolor="black" style="color:MintCream; font-family:Times New Roman; font-size:small"> <tr> <td><font color="white"> DISCLAIMER
    Proven terrorists, ghost cams, convicted criminals, anyone without access to a computer, folks with a long history of RoC violations, and people with 'I heart Trammel' tattoos need not apply. We will, however, consider mass murderering PKs, attempted PKs, PK haters, and PK victims.</font>
    P.S. I hate NewsPro. So will you. *grins* </td> </tr> </table>
     
  2. Guest

    Guest Guest

    Hopefully this one is visible to all.

    *resumes banging head on brick wall*
     
  3. krinklypoo

    krinklypoo Guest

    Siege War Reporter
    Do you speak fluent OooOOooo?


    Sound like what I plan on doing!!
     
  4. Morgana Grim

    Morgana Grim Lore Master
    Stratics Veteran

    Joined:
    Dec 8, 2005
    Messages:
    1,070
    Likes Received:
    4
    Yes, much better.
     
  5. Guest

    Guest Guest

    I ain't much fer book learnin' or using them twenty dollar words, I is
     
  6. Kimi_Mori

    Kimi_Mori Guest

    <blockquote><hr>

    I ain't much fer book learnin' or using them twenty dollar words, I is

    [/ QUOTE ]

    you be perfect, just make sure to get the good side when you snap their pictures [​IMG]
     
  7. krinklypoo

    krinklypoo Guest

    <blockquote><hr>

    I ain't much fer book learnin' or using them twenty dollar words, I is

    [/ QUOTE ]

    Not sure but...Ali G?
     
  8. Guest

    Guest Guest

    heh, just wait until you see the chapel I made in Sonoma [​IMG]
     
  9. imported_Falon of Eldor

    Stratics Veteran Stratics Legend

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 2005
    Messages:
    1,090
    Likes Received:
    44
    ? Sonoma? Tomorrow? Details?
     
  10. gah!!!

    meeb be da bubhosh Repurter lat ever seen!!! meeb du meeb bezt tu blah about dis uzg agh wut da oomie sblah at each ober.... meeb send meeb skribble stuff tu lat by Goblin snaga........
     
  11. *grins*

    I would pay good gold to read that!
     
  12. absimiliard

    absimiliard Guest

    Har har har!

    Bah. Meeb tink lat nubhosh ra-por-dur. Tink lat be bubhosh advis kolomnisd do.

    Meeb tink da uruk Unkl Mo mak da mos' bubhosh colum in da papr. Juz tink, dem oomiez blah at lat "Oh help me, help me Uncle Mo. I have a stupid problem. So and so is all like 'blah', and I'm like 'blah'. What should I do Uncle Mo." Den latz lik "Shuddup dumhed oomie. Latz needz gu klompin! Denz all guud! Lat blah tu muj tuu! An latz momma war kombat buutz!" Den demz all lik buu huu!

    Datz da bubhosh advis klompunist!

    Har har har!

    -abs (stil feelin orky cuz itz stil Dubzdaa!)
     
  13. Guest

    Guest Guest

    Anyone have a orc to english translator.


    Seriously, throw me a freakin' bone here
     
  14. SavannahSP

    SavannahSP Guest

    Anybody else... "a few good pens"... oh come on... *groans*

    -Sav.
     
  15. <blockquote><hr>

    Siege Advice Manager

    Are you broad shouldered, and don't mind getting them damp?
    Do you have a lightning quick wit, and a heart of lead?
    Can you dish out advice on all topics, from romance to raids?
    Then we need you!

    [/ QUOTE ]
    *nominates Wulf*
     
  16. absimiliard

    absimiliard Guest

    <blockquote><hr>

    Anyone have a orc to english translator.


    Seriously, throw me a freakin' bone here

    [/ QUOTE ]

    So sorry Tigs. Let me put it into "oomie" (human).

    -------

    *laughs*

    Bah. I think you sir would be a horrible reporter. Instead I think you would be a most excellent advice columnist!

    I think the "Orc Uncle Mo" would make the absolute best advice column in the papers! Just think, those humans would talk to you saying things like, "Oh, hep meeb, hep meeb Unkl Mo. Meeb gotz da dumhed problum. Zo an' zo'z all lik 'talk' an meeb lik 'talk'. Wut shud meeb du Unkl Mo?" Then you would be be like, "Shut up you stupid human! You need to get out and go PvP more! Then it would all be good! Geeze, you talk to much also! And your Momma wears combat boots!" Then the poor human would be all like, "Boo hoo!"

    That would be the best advice columnist ever!

    *laughs*

    -abz (Who is still feeling orky because it's Tuesday!)
     
  17. Guest

    Guest Guest

    <blockquote><hr>

    Anybody else... "a few good pens"... oh come on... *groans*

    -Sav.

    [/ QUOTE ]


    [​IMG]
    DID YOU ORDER A CODE RED!?!?!?!
     
  18. SavannahSP

    SavannahSP Guest

    LOL ... thanks Tigs I was hoping someone else would get it. That's not the whole joke but it'll do.


    I would say I'm in love again like I usually do when you crack me up... *grins*... but I'm taken. [​IMG]
     
  19. Morgana Grim

    Morgana Grim Lore Master
    Stratics Veteran

    Joined:
    Dec 8, 2005
    Messages:
    1,070
    Likes Received:
    4
    We really need cultural reporter, i can't believe some of the outfits i'm seeing!!!
     
  20. Guest

    Guest Guest

    *grins*

    Nice to see so much interest!
    I will respond to those who merit, or desire, responses on the morrow!

    *falls asleep on top of braille elemental after long day of being Blind Otto*
     
  21. Guest

    Guest Guest

    if there was a position to make a Siege comic strip, I would be all over that like Kelmo with his..sh....umm...chocolates...he sure love them chocolates
     
  22. Guest

    Guest Guest

    <blockquote><hr>

    <blockquote><hr>

    Siege Advice Manager

    Are you broad shouldered, and don't mind getting them damp?
    Do you have a lightning quick wit, and a heart of lead?
    Can you dish out advice on all topics, from romance to raids?
    Then we need you!

    [/ QUOTE ]
    *nominates Wulf*

    [/ QUOTE ]

    Too bad he already had the job, and made...to my knowledge...zero reports.
     
  23. <blockquote><hr>

    Har har har!

    Bah. Meeb tink lat nubhosh ra-por-dur. Tink lat be bubhosh advis kolomnisd do.

    Meeb tink da uruk Unkl Mo mak da mos' bubhosh colum in da papr. Juz tink, dem oomiez blah at lat "Oh help me, help me Uncle Mo. I have a stupid problem. So and so is all like 'blah', and I'm like 'blah'. What should I do Uncle Mo." Den latz lik "Shuddup dumhed oomie. Latz needz gu klompin! Denz all guud! Lat blah tu muj tuu! An latz momma war kombat buutz!" Den demz all lik buu huu!

    Datz da bubhosh advis klompunist!

    Har har har!

    -abs (stil feelin orky cuz itz stil Dubzdaa!)

    [/ QUOTE ]

    This is great! Mo as the advise columnist!

    I also think a cartoonist is in order
     
  24. Kimi_Mori

    Kimi_Mori Guest

    <blockquote><hr>

    gah!!!

    meeb be da bubhosh Repurter lat ever seen!!! meeb du meeb bezt tu blah about dis uzg agh wut da oomie sblah at each ober.... meeb send meeb skribble stuff tu lat by Goblin snaga........

    [/ QUOTE ]

    ok is he asking to be a reporter? If so [and if he been a good boy at stratics] why not, but for those reader that have no idea what he is saying [that would be me most of the time] there would have to be a english translation. [Sub title the news].
     
  25. Guest

    Guest Guest

    tsk tsk....it's already been translated...scroll up!
     
  26. Guest

    Guest Guest

    <blockquote><hr>

    <blockquote><hr>

    <blockquote><hr>

    Siege Advice Manager

    Are you broad shouldered, and don't mind getting them damp?
    Do you have a lightning quick wit, and a heart of lead?
    Can you dish out advice on all topics, from romance to raids?
    Then we need you!

    [/ QUOTE ]
    *nominates Wulf*

    [/ QUOTE ]

    Too bad he already had the job, and made...to my knowledge...zero reports.

    [/ QUOTE ]

    Pffft. That is harsh, and unfair. I prefer to say that he did a lot of exclusive coverage of silence. Really, in-depth coverage, not simply caving in to churning out that main-stream news stuff of what people are doing in game and such to entertain us, that most reporters unoriginally resort to.

    Not wanting to tarnish the memory of his genius in alternative reporting, but here is evidence of actual Wulf main-stream reporting:

    Exhibit A

    Exhibit B

    Stratics can archive him, and break his links, but he lives on in our hearts. [​IMG]

    -Skylark
     
  27. Guest

    Guest Guest

    *blinks*

    Zounds! I started a punch-up!

    I have only just crawled out of my resting place, and will be responding to those who PM'd me in a short while!

    [OC] As to the flirting, I have little problem with any type of RP - I would far rather find someone RPing, or even attempting to RP, than read page after page of 'I r0XX0r y00' or someone attempting to sing the Ben 10 theme. Oh. Sorry. That last one's my six-year old son. *grins* [/OC]

    Now, let the punch-up, and/or reporting ideas resume!

    *hits what he hopes is a gong*
    CLANGGGGG!
     
  28. Guest

    Guest Guest

    I removed the off topic from this thread. Let's keep this about recruiting reporters. If you want to send me hate mail, feel free.
     
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