LAST WEEK: 8-8 SEASON: 119-108 I'm back! (as if you care)... If it hasn't been said before, I would like to take the time to advise you not to take these picks and run to your nearest bookmaker after borrowing against the last dime of equity in your house. These picks are made for my own amusement and then posted on this here internet thing so other football fans can laugh at me and sleep well knowing that they know more than at least one other loser football fan in America. ENJOY! WINNERS IN BOLD Pittsburgh at St. Louis Steelers winless in December? yup, and so it remains. Dallas at Carolina To hasten the healing of his injured thumb, Dallas team doctors advise Tony Romo to jam it in his butt. Oakland at Jacksonville Raiders catch the Jags sleeping after their huge win in Pittsburgh last week. Philadelphia at New Orleans Now that the Eagles are eliminated from the playoffs, McNabb can begin saving his McJob. Kansas City at Detroit The Lions manage to pull one out in spite of Kitna's big mouth. Cleveland at Cincinnati You didn't really think the Browns were going to take the division lead did ya? Green Bay at Chicago This game is looking to be Chicago's Super Bowl... they'll lose this one too. NY Giants at Buffalo Hard to pick the Bills after being shut out by Cleveland. Houston at Indianapolis To the surprise of noone, the Texans CAN beat the Colts' backup players! Atlanta at Arizona After being spurned by Parcells, Faclons owner Arthur Blank hires Donald Trump to clean house for him on national television. Tampa Bay at San Francisco I always knew the Niners could win meaningless games with the best of 'em. Baltimore at Seattle Hey, B-More fans. Good news: Boller isn't starting! Bad news: Neither is Ray Lewis. Miami at New England Mercury Morris declares himself eligible and runs for a hundred yards and two TDs. NY Jets at Tennessee Titans team motto: Commitment to inconsistency. Washington at Minnesota Gibbs and Co. relive memories of winning the 1992 Super Bowl in the Homer Dome. Denver at San Diego The Boltheads are getting excited now that they have a coach who has a .500 playoff win percentage.