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The old school guide to complete L33tnEsS and GM RoXoR

Discussion in 'UHall' started by The Zog historian, Feb 6, 2014.

  1. The Zog historian

    The Zog historian Babbling Loonie
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    (Found this old post someone made by a fellow named Gregor de Gar, which I cleaned up a bit for language and a word that at the time wasn't a bannable offense.)

    There are no guides to take you to complete L33TnEsS. This guide will tell you how to exactly do it. There is only one way to do this, because if you are not like every other KeWl DeWd, then you can never truely be L33T.

    You will need a lot of money for this, and you have to have some mad skills. Let's face it, if you don't have the title The Glorious Lord l33TeR, Grandmaster Tamer, then you are just the average fisherman standing at Brit Bank (the hangout for everyone who is truly l33t).

    First of all, you must have access to a black dye tub. If you cannot look like Darth Vader, you can never truly come to the l33t Side of the Shard. Any armour you wear should be Shadow, unless you are going to go for leather armour, in which case you have to have a full set of ranger armour, and black sandals. You may not have any combat skills. No L33t player actually bashes anything with sticks. The L33t player must be at least master Tamer and have Master Animal Lore.

    That brings us to our next point. No one was ever L33t without their own Mare. It has to be as black as possible. Remember whenever you don't know what to do, just ask yourself, what would Lord Vader do? Do you think he would ride around on a nice white horse? Can you imagine the Lord Vader on a Llama? No, he would get the biggest and meanest Black mare he could find. You have to do the same.

    You also have to have the ceremonial Glacial Staff. You cannot, I REPEAT! CANNOT! be L33t without the staff. Is a rabbit a rabbit if it has no ears of tail? Is a house a house if it has no windows? YOU HAVE TO HAVE A GLACIAL STAFF! You would be like a Queen without a big pair of fake...things...and tight clothes. The Glacial Staff must be carried around at all times when you are in town. No excuses.

    Your hair has to be white. It makes sense if you think about it, because ummm, well it just has to be really flipping white. It's just the style of today or something. You can make it white with a hair change deed.

    Now you have most of the equipment needed to be considered L33T on the outside. The attitude is the hard part. AlL yO TyPiN MuSt Be LiKe ThIs. It has to be, this is another essential part, without this you can never be L33T. All L33T people are sheep. Just follow the herd already.

    Now remember, no fight should be fair. For one simple reason. If it is, you will end up dead, this is because you wasted 300 skill points on taming, lore and begging (to get that L33t title), and now you don't have any skills to PvP with. So now there are two possible ways of handling a situation where someone has challenged your L33tNeSs.

    First of all you have to tell them how much they suck, and how bad you are going to do something bad to them up their butts. If you are L33t, butt [banned word]ing is your Holy Grail. It is now cool to butt [banned word]. As long as you are the [banned word]r and not the [banned word]ed. Remember what I said, you cannot win in a PvP fight, because you suck. This means that one on one you will end up being the [banned word]ed on most occasions.

    The pre-fight ceremony is not complete until you have used the phrases, "RoXoR", "[banned word] YoU" and "YoU wIlL bE mY lItTlE [bleep]" at least four or five times each. Now the only thing to say is, "My MaIn Is On AnOtHeR sHaRd BuT i WiLl StIlL rOxOr YoU." It is a good idea to have this one macroed. You will probably use it a lot.

    While talking out of your hind end for about five minutes, you should be organising all your friends (3 or 4) to get ready for battle. Two of them will need to take on the part of Blue Healer, and one or two will be needed to do some ganking. Now right before the other guy walks off in disgust because you won't duel him, tell him you want to duel and tell him to follow you. Take him out of town to where the blue healers and gankers are waiting. Get him to attack you, and have a one on one. You will soon find that you are losing, and at this point your friends should jump out and heal you, and the gankers should start mana dumping on the new grey guy. Most likely he will last five or six minutes. (He is probably actually good at PvP combat.)

    Now the battle is done, and you have won. LoOt his corpse, while his ghost watches, and laugh at how ghosts say OoOOooOoo. (That's always funny, your firneds should be queued to laugh at this point.) Then res the guy, tell him what a loser he is, and how bad he sucks and how quickly you ganked him. He will laugh and tell you you are a blue healing ganker. This is the ultimate compliment, you have finally made it. Other people now see you as truly L33t. Now kill him again. Stand over his newly ressed body and say, "RoXoReD!" over and over, and laugh at how easy it was to kill him yet again. Now run to the healers, be ready to laugh once more at him and call him a loser. Your day is now done. Head back to your large dragon ship (you do have one, right?) and hang there with your friends.

    If a GM appears, he will ask you questions. He is one of you, he is the true L33tNeSs and identifies fully with you. Say to him, "YeAh I rOxOrEd [bleep]ed ThAt NoOb [bleep] OnE oN oNe!" Then the GM will tell you to please stop using such language. This is where you should say, "HaHa YoU pUnK wHy YoU tRy To Do Me LiKe ThAt?" He will find it funny, and you will all have a laugh at the punk you roxxored. Just another day in the life of a Grandmaster RoXoR.
     
  2. azmodanb

    azmodanb Grand Poobah
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    haha so awesome. brings back memories.
     
  3. Amber Witch

    Amber Witch Slightly Crazed
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    It does bring back memories! Thanks for the laugh. I needed it this morning.

    Um... wait..

    If you take away the complicated typing isn't this exactly how it still is today? :owned:

    ROFL!

    Thanks!
     
  4. Prince Erik

    Prince Erik Journeyman
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    HA! Funny but I really don't remember it quite that way ... oh, the trash talking, res killing and all was fairly accurate (I choked on my coffee reading about "My MaIn") but I don't remember being stuffed by too many glacial staff wielding, mare riding, ranger armor wearing dEwDs. ;)

    Oh what the heck... just for old times sake: "bRinG bAck PrEcaStiNg, b*otCh!!!"

    -PE
     
  5. TheScoundrelRico

    TheScoundrelRico Stratics Legend
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    I miss looting blue corpses. *cries*...la
     
  6. Lefty

    Lefty Lore Keeper
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    Lol I do miss the old days, especially Chaos/Order wars. I ran a fencer with gm resist and the tribal spears with the para blow was one of the new warrior equalizers of the day. I would run into a slew of an enemy guild, kill about 2-3 members in seconds while their combos did very little damage due to my high resist. A G pot and especially my bandages kicking in at the critical moment would tick them off. Good times.
     
  7. LetheGL

    LetheGL Seasoned Veteran
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    First of all you have to tell them how much they suck, and how bad you are going to do something bad to them up their butts.

    :lol::lol::lol:
     
  8. azmodanb

    azmodanb Grand Poobah
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    The old days running around w/ a vanq qstaff ... in bucs .. haha