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(Player News) The Perilous Inquirer - 45th Issue

Discussion in 'UO Siege Perilous' started by DeadBob, May 9, 2014.

  1. DeadBob

    DeadBob Ancient Alien
    Stratics Veteran Alumni

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    The Perilous Inquirer
    Vol 1, 45th Issue
    May 9, 2014

    PUBLIC AUCTION
    Shard Public Auction Sat 10 May.
    Don't Miss This!
    Details at:
    http://stratics.com/community/threads/shard-public-auction.314642/#post-2383054

    DRAWINGS
    On cave wall prove to be early UO porn, according to noted archeologist, Tazar. "At first, we thought they were drawings of men attacking animals from behind with spears."

    ANCIENT ALIEN MAP
    Recent discovery of an Ancient Alien Map of our sector of the Milky Way galaxy explains why we see fewer interplanetary visitors these days. The map shows our solar system "X'd" out in great red splotches along with a (recently translated) warning, "Here there be Humans!"

    ESO - THUMBS UP!
    Elder Scrolls Online is a great quest game for those of us who love to "get stuff." Gaining the next level and getting better gear becomes a manic quest of its own.
    Yes, the ESO world is immersive & the story lines are engaging but I don't care. I just kill & rob & loot.
    Ahhh, ESO is fun!

    TRIVIA MONK
    To receive a prize, be the first to go to the Trivia Monk on our steps & answer this question:
    "What rabbit is the deadliest bunny in UO?"

    HOROSCOPE
    Taurus Apr 20 - May 20
    You will undergo profound changes because that parasite you didn't know you swallowed yesterday is becoming aware.

    PROMOTE!
    Let us help promote your vendor or event with an ad or notice in the weekly paper. Leave a message for me here (keep, it short), or drop a book with a one page ad in our mailbox at the Perilous Inquirer.
    The deadline for submissions is Wednesday for the issue that comes out Friday.

    The Perilous Inquirer
    Vol. 1, 45th Issue
    3rd house on left out the Luna south gate.
    News & Booze! Free current issues are on the "News" steward. Free named liquors are on the "Booze" steward. Back copies are free on the shop named, "Siege Droppings."
    Submission guidelines are posted on the bulletin board.
    Ace Reporter: Governor Lady Kattasrophe
    Purveyor of Red Leaves: Dionysis
    Deliveries: Doug The Fugitive


    ~sine die~
    :lie:
     
  2. Wulf2k

    Wulf2k Stratics Legend
    Stratics Veteran Stratics Legend Crusader of Chaos

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    Not a single mention of the conspideracy in the mainstream media.

    This is obviously because DeadBob has had his innards sucked out by Arachnis Kattasrophis, queen spider in the Moonglow plot, and is now an empty husk being piloted by billions upon billions of tiny spiders. I KNEW THAT WAS A WEB STAIN ON YOUR JEANS, YOU FAILED PERVERT!

    *mutter*
    *mutter*
    *twitch*
     
    Blaeke and DeadBob like this.
  3. Kattasrophe

    Nothing But Trouble

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    *mutters off about only being a kid glares angerly at Wulf*
     
  4. Wulf2k

    Wulf2k Stratics Legend
    Stratics Veteran Stratics Legend Crusader of Chaos

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    Shh dearie, the adults are trying to ramble incoherently.
     
  5. Kattasrophe

    Nothing But Trouble

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    :coco:
     
    Blaeke, startle and DeadBob like this.
  6. kelmo

    kelmo Old and in the way
    Professional Stratics Veteran Alumni Dread Lord

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  7. DeadBob

    DeadBob Ancient Alien
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    Damned little spiders ITCH!
    <scratch>
    <scritch>
    <scratch>
    <scratch>
     
  8. startle

    startle Siege... Where the fun begins.
    Stratics Veteran Stratics Legend Gilfane

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    You're dead, what do you care.... :cool:
     
    DeadBob likes this.
  9. Blaeke

    Blaeke Journeyman
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    ROFL on the UO Porn! :lol:
     
    DeadBob likes this.
  10. iLLegal Means

    iLLegal Means Seasoned Veteran
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    Bob I need to remember not to read the inquirer with dip of Skoal in my mouth... love the cave drawing comment...