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The Return of Santa PK!

Discussion in 'UO Sonoma' started by Lord Hunter, Dec 13, 2010.

  1. Lord Hunter

    Lord Hunter Babbling Loonie
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    For all those old schoolers and for those that have never read this great poem, I present to you an old Sonoma tradition here on the boards. The posting of Santa PK!

    'Twas the Night Before Christmas on Sonoma by KewL DooD (1998)

    'Twas the night before Christmas when all through the shard
    Not a creature was stirring, 'cept a macroing bard.
    The backpacks were hung by the chimney with care
    In hopes generous GMs soon would be there

    The bank thieves were nestled all snug in their robes
    While visions of easy marks danced in their lobes
    All of us regulars here at the Y
    Had just settled down, to pass the night by -

    When out on the lawn there arose such a scream
    Everyone looked 'round, to scope out the scene
    Away to the front door, we flew like a flash
    'Twas just in time for a halberd's last crash

    The moon on the breast of the new fallen snow
    Shone red from the blood of the newbie below
    Then, what should our wondering eyes thus impart?
    But a miniature sleigh, and eight tiny great harts!

    With white-bearded driver, all dressed in red
    The same as the name floating o'er his head
    He bent over the corpse, started carving away
    We knew in a moment, IT WAS SANTA PK!!!

    Our numbers were many, our characters brave
    We all jumped on Santa PK in a wave!
    More rapid than eagles, his great harts they came
    Santa PK cursed soundly, then called them by name

    "Now Corp Por, now Vas Flam, now on Vas Ort Grav!
    Now Ort Sanct, now Wis Quas, and others I have!
    To the top of the hedge, to the top of the wall
    Rel por away, por away, por away all!"

    And then, in a twinkling, we heard on the roof
    The thumping and whumping of each little hoof
    We all headed inside, and as we turned round
    Down the chimney came Santa PK with a bound

    Dressed in red magic plate, from his head to his foot
    He chopped down our tree, and then stole the rule-book
    He snooped all the patrons, and summoned EVs
    Then stole all 15 of my insta-log keys!

    His dimples, how merry! His twinkling eye!
    He looked 'round, then said, "UR all gonna die!"
    Then with no more words he went straight to his work;
    To make us all take unplanned naps in the dirt.

    I whipped out my halberd, as all followed suit;
    We were hungry for Santa PK's blood and loot
    He had sullied the Y, brought us nothing but grief!
    He was worse than a Noto-PK or a theif!

    My halberd, it whooshed, my halberd, it whiffed!
    I couldn't hit Santa PK, I was miffed!
    The Y's other patrons hurled arrows and spells
    But they all missed Santa PK just as well.

    His casting was swift, his footwork sublime
    Three bolts he could put in the air at one time!
    He guzzed Gheals with 1 second's delay
    And I wondered, "Now why can't *I* do it that way?"

    The light bulb went on, I let out a scream
    "This scumbag must utilize UO Extreme!"
    Santa PK turned his head 'round my way
    "Corp Por" *thwack* "Corp Por", all I then saw was gray.

    As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly
    Flew the bodies of patrons, those doomed to die
    And then, when he was the last one left standing
    Santa PK ran forthwith to the landing.

    He gathered our heads, and he gathered our loot
    He jumped in his sleigh in his red armor suit
    As he drove out of sight, I heard him exclaim
    "Man, U guys suk! U guys R all LaM3!"

    Happy Holidays everyone and stay safe.

    -Hunter
     
  2. Queen Mum

    Queen Mum Babbling Loonie
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    One of my all time favorites!! TY for sharing it again :)

    Merry Christmas everyone!
     
  3. Angel of Sonoma

    Angel of Sonoma Certifiable
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  4. Lord Hunter

    Lord Hunter Babbling Loonie
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    Well done! I forgot to log on and repost this :)