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The Trinsic Beacon (2010)

Discussion in 'UO Europa' started by The Trinsic Beacon, Jan 4, 2010.

  1. The Trinsic Beacon

    The Trinsic Beacon Adventurer
    Stratics Veteran

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    [​IMG]

    Monday, 4th Day of the New Year

    The Beacon wishes You, our faithful Readers, a Happy and Joyful New Year!




    ’Democracy’ Strikes Back...
    (PLC)


    In a sudden and unexpected move, the Chancellor of the Republic of Vesper was first deposed and, soon after, disposed of.

    In a plot, seemingly formed between Escaflowne and Hanse Davion, reigning chancellor Olk Samsca was informed at a public meeting that he was a waste of space and that he was to step down immediately - or be removed by force. On his refusal to go quietly, he was mercilessly attacked and beaten senseless. Hanse Davion then stepped up as temporary chancellor, literally over Olk's (apparently) dead body. This caused immediate uproar, leading to a vote on Monday whether the people accepted him as replacement or not. The result of this chaos appears to be that Davion is to remain temporary chancellor until an election has been held.

    Up to now there is no report if the former Ruler Olk Samsca survived and is held prisoner or died in their coup d'etat.

    Furthermore, the meeting included a list of future changes in the Republic, most of them concerning either war or games, some of them even both. Judging by the comments Vesper is already planning another futile campaign against the realm. Lastly, full citizenship and protection was offered to all that had helped Vesper in the past, including known criminals and madmen such as the Collegium.

    [​IMG]



    A Symbol of Power – A Commentary
    (PLC)


    Dear Readers, the symbol of chaos which graces the shields and banners of the Republic of Vesper bears with it a long and dreadful history. Many years ago it was the sign of a man wishing to find an alternate way, a man who took a philosophical idea beyond the final borders of sense and virtue. And like that man once, who tore himself apart until nothing was left but a murderous monstrosity, so is Vesper about to rip out the remnants of its heart and soul.

    Chaos rules again, with assassins clearing the throne of one incapable man to make way for the next. Olk the ‘Mushroom Man’, well known for his madness and odd habits, is bloodily replaced by Hanse Davion, a man known for his love of war and the recent episodes where he happily admitted to having eaten a human corpse. His statement that he would not run himself in the upcoming election (provided it can be trusted) certainly comes as a relief. The hopes of the Realm now lie on the chance that the previous Chancellor Escaflowne will run again, a man who had proven his ability to rule rather than to just wage war blindly.

    In addition, Vesper opens its sewers for the scum and leftovers of the realm. A failed dream grasping for drow, criminals and madmen as its last straw. Already the drums of war are beating, with the simple - and singleminded - way that the claims on “west Vesper” are upheld; an absurd and doomed attempt to conquer land from the realm and to enslave honest citizens. How now shall it end? Long ago, a man and his ideas failed in wave of blood, metal and disaster. If it comes to that again, the Realm will stand strong as it did then.


    [​IMG]



    Yew Bomber on Trial!
    (PLC)


    Yesterday night, two citizens of Yew were put on trial by the Yewish Church to answer for the crimes of murder, assault and treachery along with many more minor charges. One of the suspects was Darien De’Mirio, according to our sources once an influential noble in Yew. De’Mirio appeared to be of questionable health both mentally and physically, which did not seem to bother the court who even accepted the suspect asking for his imagined brother to be his defender.

    The second trial, that of footman (footwoman?) Millicent was taken more seriously, with a more capable defender speaking in her favour against the numerous charges laid down before the judge. Apparently, she was accused by De’Mirio himself, who, despite his questionable alignment with the real world, brought the Militia on the trail of the young woman. In an emotional and heated trial, the defender managed to dispel many of the charges, yet ultimately she was declared guilty of several crimes, as well as De’Mirio himself.

    To the surprise of the assembled people and even the Militia itself, she was sentenced to be burned alive, a terrible and inhumane punishment usually reserved for "wytches" in Yew. However, while the members of the Militia prepared the pyre for the execution, the condemned woman was led to the church for last prayers and was able to flee from there. Despite a search conducted immediately by the Militia she stayed gone and must be considered escaped. If she has any sense, she will stay that way.

    [​IMG]



    A Dragon’s Egg?
    (ELE)


    A confidential meeting was held last night between the Duke and other representatives of the Duchy, Lady Flame, Egan, and Nathan Hawke to discuss the use of a powerful magical artifact against the current orc threat. We are only permitted to report brief details of this meeting, for obvious reasons.

    The item in question was recently retrieved from Dungeon Destard by the Duchy for an unspecified purpose, but was not initially intended as a weapon. Indeed, the Duke specifically ruled out its use against any enemy other than the orcs, stating that it was too dangerous.

    In order to use it at all, however, the effects must be controlled or limited in some way. Duchy experts are unable to ascertain how this might be done at present. To better understand it, the origins of the artifact are to be explored, with an expedition to the Yew Crypts taking place on Wednesday. It is believed that this is where it was created.

    [​IMG]



    Big Bounties
    (ELE)

    According to a spokesman the Trinsic City Watch has managed to root out a larger hideout of a smuggler gang in Trinsic. The hideout was discovered during ongoing investigations and large amounts of illegal goods, amongst them especially necromantic goods, weapons, armour, poison and addictive substances have been confiscated and destroyed. While the City Watch cannot yet reveal more information, to not endanger the investigations, we have been told that progress has been made and that several criminals had been apprehended.

     
  2. The Trinsic Beacon

    The Trinsic Beacon Adventurer
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    [​IMG]

    Saturday, 23rd Day of January



    How to build a better Orctrap
    (PLC)


    A new weapon has come into the hands of the Queendom of Sosaria, found and wielded by the usually honourable and peace–loving southern Duchy. Researchers from Trinsic, under the guidance of Lady Kendra, a renowned magician, have discovered an old and magical gem, which once wreaked havoc on the lands around its hiding place. Now, with the magical effects contained and focused it is to be used against the New Order, the recently surfaced tribe of orcs that distinguishes itself from its more savage brethren by their stronger stature, intelligence, and being able to use technology.

    On Thursday evening, after considerable argument and several walkouts, despite the plan having been known about for a while, the gem was placed in the depths of the orc caves in what can only be described as a badly planned and executed operation. During this (not exactly subtle) infiltration by the Royal Guard, one of the New Order orcs, apparently imprisoned by his own kind for some sort of theological disagreement, was taken back to Trinsic for questioning. Meanwhile, the gem is expected to perform its magic, though the Beacon could not gather any information concerning the nature and extent of its expected effects.

    Both the idea for this weapon as well as the execution of this operation carry the signature of mediocre strategist and untrustworthy advisor Nathan Hawke. The Beacon will attempt to report about the effects of this magical weapon as soon as they become apparent.

    [​IMG]



    Of Orcs and Other Monsters – A Commentary
    (PLC)


    A reporter is generally in a good position. He just needs to report what is happening, without the burden of the decisions that bring forth the situation that he observes. Of late, there have been many such decisions for which we do not envy the ones that made them. The decision to employ the magical curse against one of Sosaria’s greatest threats, the New Order, must have been a hard one and the Duke, along with everything else that happened lately, seemed visibly troubled by it. To make it short, the Beacon disagrees with the decision that was made, though we are able to respect that it stood at the end of a long and difficult decision process.

    However, where we easily assume the Duke to be a responsible man, consciously aware of his duties and the risks of his decisions, we cannot help but feel concerned by Hawke’s recent blundering through the realm. While admitting himself that his mind was affected during one of the expeditions of the Royal Guard, he almost carelessly claims magical items, of which he could not truly know anything, as weapons. Weapons wielded by whom, exactly?

    Even the Queen’s control on this man appears to be fleeting at least. Nor did he ever pledge himself and his actions to the virtues. Who then, does this man now represent? Sosaria? His own means or those of an unknown party? Is it not time to lift the veil of illusions from this man to truly judge him by his character? Of course, Hawke did great deeds defeating the traitor to the crown, Casca. But is that enough to follow this one man blindly wherever he leads? Should we perhaps be questioning how it is that he retains so much influence?

    In the end, it is worth remembering that a true and just man needs not fear scrutiny, nor fear the questioning of his reason, sense and motives. Why then, do we shy away from demanding more than simplified arguments and vague hints from a man that pretends to be the saviour of our beloved queendom?

    [​IMG]



    Where the Wild Spirits g(r)o(w)
    (PLC)


    On Wednesday night the second plague of the seven that the Lich Arysoun Takhista cursed Trinsic with struck, in the form of ghostly reapers. Oddly enough the very alive tree spirits grew in the Duke’s office, waiting for unfortunate souls to open the door and thus spring the trip.

    When that was finally attempted, the true strength of the spirits became blindingly obvious, with the glow from the ensuing lightning storm clearly visible even from the distant City of Britain. Throughout the night healers worked frantically to bring the wounded back to their feet and after several hours of the hardest fighting that the Royal Army had seen in a while the last of the unholy trees had been vanquished.

    Once more the citizens of Trinsic wish to thank those that came to aid in its defense for their valour and sacrifice in this terrible battle.

    [​IMG]



    An Audience – Jolie Good Fun!
    (JR)


    My dear readers, once again I, Jolie, am privileged to bring you news of an exciting occasion in the Kingdom of Britannia! On Friday, the new Queen Dawn presented herself publicly to hear the petitions of we who are citizens of Britannia. I am sad to see that the Queen has not yet chosen to listen to my advice regarding her dress, and this was recognised by the very first question!

    A young woman with a strange way of speech (I believe from the primitive cult of the Yew church) asked the Queen why she did not dress in a more appropriate manner. I suspect that she did not mean this question in the way in which most people would have asked, but it was of no matter, as the Queen did not seem even to understand the point of the question. Alas, this makes me to think that she truly lacks the appreciation of the importance of fashion and appearance. This, as a noble of the realm, she so clearly needs. I will not yet sigh in despair, but live in the hope that one day she will listen to one who is an expert in such matters.

    The questions then turned to more mundane things, with a request from Traveler to dispose of the so-revolting rotting corpse of the former King, which lies still outside the castle doors. This cannot but be an improvement to the general ambience, and the Queen said that she would see to it. Politics was next, with a question from Stewan regarding the status of Nathan Hawke, who it seems is meddling with things from the realms of necromancy. However, as our own dear Duke is supporting him in this, one must not question it too closely! It is the case that the Queen seems not to know much about what he is doing, so we will wait to see the outcomes of Nathan’s actions and her talks with him.

    It was our Duke who brought up the next questions, again on purely political matters. Essentially there is nothing to report as the Queen spoke but gave no answers. Truly, dear readers, I do wonder sometimes why politicians even bother to talk, since so often they actually do not produce any remarks of substance!

    Next was the cheeky young Watchman Samuel, who asked the Queen for a date! Confidently I expected her to call for the guards and have him thrown in prison for such impertinence, but not only did this not happen, she invited him to dinner at the Castle! This is a most interesting development, and I hope that the Beacon will be able to secure an interview with Samuel afterwards!

    One NoKa then stepped up to announce the residence of himself and some fellow adventurers newly returned to Britannia and requested official recognition. They have helped Trinsic and will no doubt assist all of Britannia in the fighting of evil, so shortly I am sure they may get the recognition they deserve.

    Following this, Tane Darkbane, a most noble gentleman, also requested official recognition but for the notable valor of the Bloodguard, who have been in the forefront of all such enterprises on behalf of Britannia for many years. This is most sincerely supported by the Beacon and it is to be hoped that the Queen will find it in her heart and will to do something.

    Finally a man dressed rather blindingly in white – perhaps from the same school of fashion as our Queen – asked for more things to collect. It was suggested to him that he earn such things by joining the Bloodguard or otherwise fighting for Britannia, a most sensible answer and one of which I hope he will take careful note!

    With that, the Queen declared this first audience at an end, and we are left to hope that we will soon have another one. Perhaps she may even choose to dress in something a little less garish!

    A bientôt mes amis!


    [​IMG]



    And Another Audience
    (PLC)


    Apparently the Queen enjoys her audiences, seeing how she called for a second one. Her first topic this time was the announcement of an update to the royal maps. We meant to report this, but frankly, we are just as confused as everybody else. Did the Queen misplace a city or two? Are villages appearing where there had been none lately? Is this a test to see who did not pay their tax? Anyway, if you happen to live in a city that nobody else knows so far, let the royal mapmakers know. Or find a good therapist. Details to follow… hopefully with an explanation or two.

    Second topic of the night was the fate of the late (and ripe) Casca, who so far continued his olfactory conquest of the City of Britain. By command of her Majesty, the body has been removed from its rotting place in the palace gardens, with the intent to have it buried in the graveyard of Britain. However, this practical approach met great resistance from the gathered audience, which argued strongly for a method that would prevent any attempts at raising the unloved ex-king from his well-deserved rest. In a loud and mostly pointless discussion the suggestions ranged from practical solutions, such as a burning, to volcanoes and bizarre rituals that the templars believe necessary. The Beacon itself fails to see the problem. Since the dignity of the corpse is not truly a problem after the world had seen him rot for half a year in the palace gardens, one would think that simply throwing the remains on a pyre would be easily done to quell the fears of the citizens.



    Feuilleton



    The Hor(r)o(r)scope for October
    (by Cassandre d'Troi)


    A general warning for all this month and next: beware of Trinsic! I see most dire signs and portents for the whole city. Selcius, the highest eminence of the astrological world, agrees with me for once.

    January - Dontfear (the Reaper)
    The colour blue is not a good one for you this month. Don’t go swimming, or sit outside on clear sunny days, and don’t wear or use anything made of valorite or flax. That way lies madness. Friends and family will rally round to support you, however, so it’s not all bad news.

    February - Vlad (the Vampire Bat)
    If you survived the Christmas party you went to (I hope you avoided the cake), you can look forward to a month of intensely boring gloom. This may be broken when you discover an ancient alcoholic recipe in the gargoyle city of Ter Mur; however, you will consequently not remember any of the excitement. Or the recipe.

    March - Frosty (the Snow Elemental)
    This should be quite a good month for you, as those born under this star have a natural affinity with frost and ice, so being snowed in and starving for three weeks should not bother you too much. An unusual planetary conjunction is suggestive of drowning, however, so be careful when it all thaws.

    April - Shrek (the Ogre)
    It really would be best this month to concentrate very hard on containing unruly emotions. There will be many demands on you from friends and acquaintances, and you will need all your wits about you. Forget about trying to have a love life; the stars are not scheduled to work out in your favour for at least the next 50 years.

    May - Mat (the Daemon)
    This month will see you achieve total harmony with nature. Birds, plants, and cute fluffy things will greet you at every step. Sadly, this specifically includes chickens, phoenixes, corpsers, mongbats, hiryu, boura, and pixies, thus ruling out safe and peaceful travel to pretty much everywhere. Stay at home.

    June - Ming (the Mongbat)
    If you made it back home after your Delucian adventure, you can look forward to getting stuck in a major cart jam on the new Vesper ring road at the end of the month. This will last for several days, and frankly, Vesper is not a good place to get stuck. Unless you like mud, rotting fish, and being insulted all the time.

    July - Leon (the Sphynx)
    Beware of carrots this month. And don’t go near any rabbits.

    August - Fead (the Troll)
    Living up to expectations is sometimes very hard, both for you and for those from whom you are expecting something. You are likely to be let down very badly this month, and it would be best to avoid making too many plans beyond that hunting trip you have planned with friends, as you probably won’t be coming back.

    September - Deck (the Ant Lion)
    Your house will be overrun by alligators, bog things, plague beasts and slimes this month, when a bunch of them decide they want a holiday away from the swamps. I am afraid this will lead to considerable expense in redecoration and refurbishment after they leave, although dead slimes, once thoroughly dried, can make quite a good carpet substitute.

    October - Whisky (the Rat)
    Alas, the stars really have it in for you this month. Everything you touch is likely to go very horribly wrong, and I urge you to reconsider all your plans very carefully. In particular, anything involving gargoyles isn’t going to work, and I wouldn’t want you to be responsible for starting a war.

    November - Puff (the Magic Dragon)
    I see dead people. Unfortunately, this includes you. However, ‘life’ as a wraith is not all bad, as you will be able to use the recall spell for free to go and visit all your friends. But they will either not see you or not want to see you, so do not expect to enjoy the experience. I recommend trying to find a good necromancer instead.

    December - Theseus (the Minotaur)
    After the wreckage of last month, this month will have to be spent in repairs. Sadly you are unlikely to get the time, as you will have to cope with many demands, particularly from all the people whose property you destroyed who now want to sue you.
     
  3. The Trinsic Beacon

    The Trinsic Beacon Adventurer
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    Wednesday, 21st Day of April




    A Burning Grave
    (PLC)


    Strange happenings occured in Yew on Sunday night. While there are plenty of (probably tasteless) jokes about how Yew can drive about everything mad, we would not have expected the very trees to turn crazy and assault the local citizenry. In addition, hordes of maddened dryads began to run wild amongst them, spreading further havoc.

    At the same time, a group of rangers had been trapped within the crypts, unable to leave due to fire and magical fields blocking the entrance. When the members of the yewish militia and the royal guard arrived, those flames were just beginning to spread, soon developing into an inferno of fire, burning trees and fiery elemantals threatening to set the whole forest alight. However, working together the loyalist forces quickly dispatched the burning elementals and forced their way into the crypts to rescue the remaining rangers.

    So far, the connection between maddened dryads, attacking trees and walls of fire remains secret and obscure. Potentially it is another trick of the woman that haunts Trinsic and revived Mericles.

    [​IMG]



    Noble Visitors
    (ELE)


    There has been much speculation about the rapidly deteriorating relationship between Trinsic and Skara Brae, not helped by Comte Emile Lampet hiring a bunch of brigands to assassinate the Duke. The Comte currently languishes in Trinsic jail, and there is no word on his release. When asked, the Duke remained tight lipped, commenting only that investigations are ongoing and they hope to return the Comte to Skara Brae soon. It is known to the Beacon that a number of visits to Skara Brae and the surrounding areas have taken place, but no reports have been forthcoming.



    Of Cursed Gems and Pearls
    (PLC)


    Due to popular request from our readers the Beacon has made some inquiries as to the fate of the cursed diamond that was used against the orcs several months ago. A statement from the Duke's office claims that the gem was indeed destroyed as promised, by (at the time paladin) Emre Khaldun.

    [​IMG]

    According to the report, the gem was disposed of in a volcano in the tokunese sea; a perilous adventure which apparently nearly led to the destruction of the delivering paladin himself, when his boat caught fire from a small lava stream.

    Lady Kendra however, by now the Realm's most popular treasurer of cursed items, now has the cursed pearl from Trinsic in her possession. It is assumed that this pearl, which appeared alongside the lich's first plague, is indeed the item that channels the powers of the curse to manifest inside the walls of Trinsic. A speaker from the magical branch of the soon-to-be-founded Academy of Trinsic confirmed that the magical protection, which wards the city against travelling spells, might make such a channelling item necessary in order to trigger an effect within the barrier. However while the City Watch reports no further manifestations of the lich's curse, the plague of apes remains, potentially fuelled by tourists feeding the animals.

    [​IMG]



    Royal Britannian Writing Contest!
    (PLC)





    Trinsic Academy Founded
    (PLC)


    Last Sunday saw the first meeting of a group of honoured and reputable Trinsic Citizens coming together to lay the foundations for the Trinsic Academy, a future centre of learning and knowledge. A speaker of the Academy told us that there will be a basic structure with three branches, namely science, magic and combat. Together, we have been promised a busy schedule with a wealth of different lectures and events, starting this very Sunday with the initial opening lecture held by Master Rastiano.



    Quickly Noted
    (PLC)


    After a long time as Captain of the Trinsic City Watch, Dawn retired to settle down with her husband Kadul to spend more time with him and and to build a family. The Trinsic Beacon thanks Captain Dawn for her dedication to the Duchy and its citizens and wishes her and her family all the best in the future.

    Nathan Hawke has been asked to investigate the death of rangers in the crypts of Yew. A public meeting will be held on Thursday, 22nd April on 8pm Britannian Standard Time to further discuss the happenings of that day.

    [​IMG]

    With a magnificent garden party, only slightly interrupted by a strange pixie and a stolen statue from Zento, Duke Irvyn of Trinsic officially dedicated the garden of his new mansion, Dukesbridge House, to the public. Situated right on the road from Trinsic West Gate to the public moongate it offers rest and respite to weary travellers, and a place of peace for anyone who wishes to visit it.

    Rumour also has it that during said party a severed head was found along with a blackmail note. The watchmen on duty only explained that the threat in the note would be a fake and that the case was consecutively closed.



    Feuilleton



    Brightly Coloured Fun at the Carnival
    (Jolie Richesse)


    Dear readers, I attended briefly the Spring Carnival in Vesper, with his Grace the Duke and some of the guards. Our so beautiful Mayor Gwen was there also, but not much in evidence, no doubt spending time with Escaflowne secretly! Is it not true that Spring is the time of lovers? Of course, it is hard to forgive Escaflowne for upstaging our Duke at his own party, but nevertheless his proposal to Gwen was a moment of the most dramatic and touching! We must all offer to them our sincere congratulations and wish for happiness in the dark days ahead!

    But back to the carnival! Alas, I regret to say that the Vesperians have no sense of colour or style still, and it sadly seems to me most unlikely that they might develop this. The best one can say is that it was of a cheerful appearance, like a child's first attempt with a paintbox, perhaps.

    [​IMG]

    Nevertheless there was much to eat and drink, and many games to play, also a fishing contest and a fortune teller. Perhaps of the entertainments on offer the most unusual was a zoo. This was to Hanse a thing of pride, about which he made great boasts. The beasts on show were a talking ettin, a one-eyed giant in purple, a scarlet spider woman, and a green ogre by name Barney. (The ettin at one point escaped, menacing the Chancellor Van, but thanks to swift action from the Duchy guards, Van was saved - the wisdom of this may be judged by you, my readers! The beast was soon returned to its cage and the carnival could continue in peace.)

    After much revelry, the gladiatorial contest was to start, and all trooped off to the arena. But, alas, I cannot tell you who won. After hearing the winner of the dandy contest (which was Frost, in a so astonishing combination of pink and white, resembling an ice-cream - one can only wonder at the strangeness of Vesperian women), I decided that it was to the best that I retired instead for my nightly beauty regimen. Remember, mes amis, one does not attain elegance simply by existing, one must work at it! Something the Vesperians, alas, do not seem to have grasped. Or, perhaps, have just not succeeded yet!

    A bientôt mes amis!

    [​IMG]



    The Hor(r)o(r)scope for April
    (by Cassandre d'Troi)


    April - Shrek (the Ogre)
    Spring is in the air, and buds of romance are breaking all around you, but sadly not for you. All the lucky stars seem to have moved out of your sign, and your love life will be more like a three year old piece of dead wood or maybe a broken bark fragment.

    May - Mat (the Daemon)
    Very little is promised this month, by stars, moons, planets or anything else. In fact you will be overwhelmed by the mind-numbing tedium of your life and feel quite suicidal by the last week. Try to resist this, however, as there is always the hope that things may brighten up.

    June - Ming (the Mongbat)
    A roving band of goblins from the abyss will arrive in your house this month, guided by their own bright particular stars. Whilst this initially may seem quite interesting, interest will rapidly turn to disgust, as goblins are rarely well housetrained and this bunch are no exception. Start saving now for the cleaning bills.

    July - Leon (the Sphynx)
    Stay away from giant toads this month, and don’t eat anything coloured green.

    August - Fead (the Troll)
    Spring is springing this month, but not for you, as your garden is too badly overgrown because you didn’t do any tidying up or cutting back over Autumn and Winter. Instead, you will find a large number of jungle creatures deciding to migrate to the haven of your wilderness.

    September - Deck (the Ant Lion)
    Several terrifying encounters with spiders this month will leave you with something of a phobia. This is not connected with the usual giant spiders, frost spiders, black widows, etc, all of which will leave you in peace. It’s the hairy-legged ones about the size of your hand which have set up a rapidly-expanding colony under your bed.

    October - Whisky (the Rat)
    The planetary conjunctions with the moons this month are saying a lot about danger from fire. Probably cooking fires and camp fires are all right, but it would be best not to visit Yew, particularly those of you with Elvish blood, or anyone who owns a pack llama.

    November - Puff (the Magic Dragon)
    The stars are generally pretty good for you this month, and will lead you into a relaxed and happy attitude. However, around the middle of the month you will need to visit an armourer and weaponsmith after a series of unfortunate events whilst out hunting. Be alert: they will sense your free and easy mood and try to rip you off.

    December - Theseus (the Minotaur)
    Spring is a time of new beginnings, new hopes, and so on and so forth. It would be a good idea this month for you to spring-clean your life and start again. Move somewhere a long way away so the neighbours can’t rat on you.

    January - Dontfear (the Reaper)
    There will be attacks on you from all sides this month, whether relatives, friends, employers, or pets. Most will be relatively benign, or at least not actually fatal. But, although you are very proud of your greater dragon, it would really be safest to leave him in the stable this month.

    February - Vlad (the Vampire Bat)
    Exotic locations and unusual events are yours for the taking this month, as the stars promise a world of excitement and new places. All of them are highly dangerous, however, so it might be best to turn down any invitations such as to tea with the gargoyle queen.

    March - Frosty (the Snow Elemental)
    Possibly you did something to offend the fates recently, but not that badly, as this month the planetary conjunctions suggest the development of a series of non-fatal but painful and/or embarrassing conditions such as haemorrhoids, facial rashes, and a large carbuncle on your nose. Invest in a mask and a soft pillow.