1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.
  2. Greetings Guest!!

    In order to combat SPAM on the forums, all users are required to have a minimum of 2 posts before they can submit links in any post or thread.

    Dismiss Notice
  3. Greetings Guest! Tonights Maintenance is complete and the Stratics Community Wiki is now live. Please see this thread for more details.
    Dismiss Notice

Things new UO (guy) players do when they start.

Discussion in 'UHall' started by Arcanis, May 16, 2015.

  1. Arcanis

    Arcanis Adventurer
    The Valorian Knights

    Aug 12, 2013
    Likes Received:
    Things new players (guys) do when they start playing UO for the first time & how they evolve
    through the different stages in time.
    " In the beginning there was darkness...."

    # Upon character creation and landing in New Haven, you quickly scan that message gump
    with the chick on it where is says welcome to UO...blah blah blah...
    and right clicking it immediately..as well as any other gump boxes..wont be needing those again!

    # Strip naked, because those dorky high water pants clash with your brand new created eye patched face.

    # While still naked, you approach and start a convo with a bank sitter who is all decked out in the latest garb, and ask them an annoying question...like ..where is the bank?
    Then you realize that you are both naked AND stupid.
    Extra Ego points lost if the toon you approached was a female character who
    called you out on your nooby nakedness.

    # You throw away all bank and personal contents except for the 1000 gold and the dagger.

    # Equip & keep for a time, the first item/weapon you see someone drop at the bank.

    # Put on any gear and go kill something immediately....manhood must.... be.....Reclaimed!!!

    # Slaughter a bunch of defenseless animals and gut them.
    Upon seeing a pile of hides for the first time, you think it looks like a giant pile of poop,
    then you drag and drop it on the ground.... and whadda ya know! theory is confirmed!

    # Invade and effectively take over a cemetery.

    # Strive to wear bone armor ( because it has a skeletor looking mask & spikes)

    # Accidentally discover kindling while trying to gut something to close to a tree
    and figuring out how to light it on fire..when it burns you quote Tom Hanks from Castaway.

    # create multiple bon fires utilizing your new found skills.

    # Discover walking sucks and name your first horse Wilson.

    # Take your first pile of loot back to the bank feeling like Atilla the Hun riding into a
    conquered village full of sheep..you have been gaining fame and Karma all day and it has
    gone to your head...dang it!...where is that bank again??...

    # Killing spree round #2, bank location has been hardwired into long-term memory.
    the war spirit of Atilla refuses to walk with you until you get your affairs in order.
    until then,... Sorry you have to be General Custer.

    # Morals and ego bruised, you try to steal a boat and when ya do,
    sail away while talking like a pirate.
    (ya knew that pirate face would come to be justified.)

    # leaving said boat stranded on an island or hop off of it while its still moving
    ( and laugh when ya think of the guy that comes looking for his ride)
    ( woulda been even funnier if you can leave him a little message in the hold...but nope..you threw out your book..)

    # Find a tavern and *hic* *hic* *hic* at least 2 bottles.

    # Think about searching for a house plot that will be big enough for all the stuff
    your going to steal /acquire as you create your empire. and after seeing how much a
    castle really is..placing either a small tower or a log cabin....Atilla just outright laughs at you.

    # Learn some manly trade skills after a couple days of mindless killing..
    Lumberjack,Carp,Mining & Blacksmith..and ya gotta try out fishing!...dang it..shoulda stashed that boat.
    ( The last skill at this point you will ever think of trying.....Tailoring & Cooking)
    2 days later you place a forge and cook fishsteaks..but you still aint gonna tailor!

    # Feathered hats look cool..maybe i....BAM ! something inside you snaps! and You must go kill a dragon!..right now!!

    # You discover the value of item insurance, and the spirit of General Custer's lesson has been learned.

    # You discover Uo Guide and begin to grow.. your renaissance has started.

    # you grind out swords & tact, and you discover how much healing and anatomy you need to cure poison..
    and are proud of the fact when you can..then you learn to rez.. you still have junk gear but you
    are quite the explorer.
    # You frequent Shame level 1 and are like..bring it on..and this time..you can back up your words.
    Earthys, Ogres, Ettins, Orcs, Lizard ppl, scorpions, & basic undead have all been mastered. You still run from dragons, but you see the day fast approach when you wont run.

    # You finally discover dragons have green and red poop..and you again confirm the theory and are proud.
    But from now on, no more confirming theories ..You vow to be a harvester of whatever lands at your feet.

    # You are bold, and are looking for a challenge and status. You walk through the fel Yew moongate.

    # You Call out your first Rez killer in Gen chat, you vow to be a force to be reckoned with one day!
    and maybe you will, and maybe you wont..if not, you have other skills to fall back on, and hopefully you will make friends along the way.

    # You purchase your first large home, and sit alone in your throne room with a pile of kindling burning away.
    You reflect on the days of new, you have accomplished/acquired a lot over the years, but inside your still the same.

    You are 1 part caveman
    1 part Pirate
    1 part Warlord
    1 part Philospher
    1 part Trader
    1 part Detective
    and 2 parts lame... heh

    The journey continues

    and nothing is written in stone.

    Thank you for your time,

    Lord Arcanis
    Chief Emmy
    "Knights of the Valorian Order"
    Creative genius
    Legendary Tailor....
    Viquire, Kolka, Scribbles and 6 others like this.
  2. Tanivar

    Tanivar Crazed Zealot
    Stratics Veteran Stratics Legend

    May 28, 2003
    Likes Received:
    I'd have put Trader at the top, but yeah, it all comes with the hardware doesn't it. :)
  3. Yadd of Legends

    Yadd of Legends Certifiable
    Campaign Supporter

    May 18, 2012
    Likes Received:
    Haha, that mismatched skill set is hilarious - but it happens :)