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Twas the Night Before Christmas on Sonoma

Discussion in 'UO Sonoma' started by bitteroswald, Dec 9, 2007.

  1. bitteroswald

    bitteroswald Guest

    Yes, it is time for my yearly post on uo stratics, trotting out KewL DooD's tired old Christmas poem for about the 8th or 9th year running - I forget which.

    Like to heah it go.

    Twas the Night Before Christmas on Sonoma

    A Poime by KewL DooD

    Twas the night before Christmas when all through the shard
    Not a creature was stirring, 'cept a macroing bard
    The backpacks were hung by the chimney with care
    In hopes generous GMs soon would be there

    The bank thieves were nestled all snug in their robes
    While visions of easy marks danced in their lobes
    All of us regulars here at the Y
    Had just settled down, to pass the night by

    When out on the lawn there arose such a scream
    Everyone looked 'round, to scope out the scene
    Away to the front door, we flew like a flash
    'Twas just in time for a halberd's last crash

    The moon on the breast of the new fallen snow
    Shone red from the blood of the newbie below
    Then, what should our wondering eyes thus impart?
    But a miniature sleigh, and eight tiny great harts!

    With white-bearded driver, all dressed in red
    The same as the name floating o'er his head
    He bent over the corpse, started carving away
    We knew in a moment, IT WAS SANTA PK!!!

    Our numbers were many, our characters brave
    We all jumped on Santa PK in a wave!
    More rapid than eagles, his great harts they came
    Santa PK cursed soundly, then called them by name

    Now Corp Por, now Vas Flam, now on Vas Ort Grav!
    Now Ort Sanct, now Wis Quas, and others I have!
    To the top of the hedge, to the top of the wall
    Rel por away, por away, por away all!

    And then, in a twinkling, we heard on the roof
    The thumping and whumping of each little hoof
    We all headed inside, and as we turned round
    Down the chimney came Santa PK with a bound

    Dressed in red magic plate, from his head to his foot
    He chopped down our tree, and then stole the rule-book
    He snooped all the patrons, and summoned EVs
    Then stole all 15 of my insta-log keys!

    His dimples, how merry! His twinkling eye!
    He looked 'round, then said, "UR all gonna die!"
    Then with no more words he went straight to his work;
    To make us all take unplanned naps in the dirt.

    I whipped out my halberd, as all followed suit
    We were hungry for Santa PK's blood and loot
    He had sullied the Y, brought us nothing but grief!
    He was worse than a Noto-PK or a theif!

    My halberd, it whooshed, my halberd, it whiffed!
    I couldn't hit Santa PK, I was miffed!
    The Y's other patrons hurled arrows and spells
    But they all missed Santa PK just as well

    His casting was swift, his footwork sublime
    Three bolts he could put in the air at one time!
    He guzzled Gheals with 1 second's delay
    And I wondered, "Now why can't *I* do it that way?"

    The light bulb went on, I let out a scream
    "This scumbag must utilize UO Extreme!"
    Santa PK turned his head 'round my way
    "Corp Por" *thwack* "Corp Por", all I then saw was gray

    As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly
    Flew the bodies of patrons, those doomed to die
    And then, when he was the last one left standing
    Santa PK ran forthwith to the landing

    He gathered our heads, and he gathered our loot
    He jumped in his sleigh in his red armor suit
    As he drove out of sight, I heard him exclaim
    "Man, U guys suk! U guys R all LaM3!"
  2. bitteroswald

    bitteroswald Guest

    Forgot to mention, lots of the stuff described (instalog keys, summoning EVs in someone else's house, etc) are no longer possible. This is from ye olden days...

    Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!