In an unavoidably belated holiday observance, the uniquely traditional reading of KewL DooD's splendid saga (penned for the YMCA in late 1998) will take place tonight at the Yew Merry Center for All's Story Night. 'Twill be bittersweet, as KewL DooD has informed of his impending and final departure from our land. As my current presence at the tower was due to admiring the example that KewL set for the Sonoma community, I shall try to share tales of his escapades this eve as well - and ask that anyone else with memories of those times join us in tonight's tribute. For those whom may not be able to attend in person this eve, I herewith reprint KewL DooD's splendid Poime for posterity. Enjoy! 'Twas the Night Before Christmas on Sonoma by KewL DooD (1998) 'Twas the night before Christmas when all through the shard Not a creature was stirring, 'cept a macroing bard. The backpacks were hung by the chimney with care In hopes generous GMs soon would be there The bank thieves were nestled all snug in their robes While visions of easy marks danced in their lobes All of us regulars here at the Y Had just settled down, to pass the night by - When out on the lawn there arose such a scream Everyone looked 'round, to scope out the scene Away to the front door, we flew like a flash 'Twas just in time for a halberd's last crash The moon on the breast of the new fallen snow Shone red from the blood of the newbie below Then, what should our wondering eyes thus impart? But a miniature sleigh, and eight tiny great harts! With white-bearded driver, all dressed in red The same as the name floating o'er his head He bent over the corpse, started carving away We knew in a moment, IT WAS SANTA PK!!! Our numbers were many, our characters brave We all jumped on Santa PK in a wave! More rapid than eagles, his great harts they came Santa PK cursed soundly, then called them by name "Now Corp Por, now Vas Flam, now on Vas Ort Grav! Now Ort Sanct, now Wis Quas, and others I have! To the top of the hedge, to the top of the wall Rel por away, por away, por away all!" And then, in a twinkling, we heard on the roof The thumping and whumping of each little hoof We all headed inside, and as we turned round Down the chimney came Santa PK with a bound Dressed in red magic plate, from his head to his foot He chopped down our tree, and then stole the rule-book He snooped all the patrons, and summoned EVs Then stole all 15 of my insta-log keys! His dimples, how merry! His twinkling eye! He looked 'round, then said, "UR all gonna die!" Then with no more words he went straight to his work; To make us all take unplanned naps in the dirt. I whipped out my halberd, as all followed suit; We were hungry for Santa PK's blood and loot He had sullied the Y, brought us nothing but grief! He was worse than a Noto-PK or a theif! My halberd, it whooshed, my halberd, it whiffed! I couldn't hit Santa PK, I was miffed! The Y's other patrons hurled arrows and spells But they all missed Santa PK just as well. His casting was swift, his footwork sublime Three bolts he could put in the air at one time! He guzzed Gheals with 1 second's delay And I wondered, "Now why can't *I* do it that way?" The light bulb went on, I let out a scream "This scumbag must utilize UO Extreme!" Santa PK turned his head 'round my way "Corp Por" *thwack* "Corp Por", all I then saw was gray. As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly Flew the bodies of patrons, those doomed to die And then, when he was the last one left standing Santa PK ran forthwith to the landing. He gathered our heads, and he gathered our loot He jumped in his sleigh in his red armor suit As he drove out of sight, I heard him exclaim "Man, U guys suk! U guys R all LaM3!"