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UO GMs Not Cannibals, Says UO

Discussion in 'UO Atlantic' started by DeadBob, Aug 3, 2009.

  1. DeadBob

    DeadBob Ancient Alien
    Stratics Veteran Alumni

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    from the ROFL Times, Vol 2.2

    UO Spokesman "Woot Woot" Barney today denounced as "mere speculation" reports that GMs lured players into a Tokuno wooded area for an Iron Chef Competition.

    "They were the chefs," Thebob had reported, "And we were the ingredients."

    This reporter stared at the veteran warrior, who leaned noticeably to the left as he sat in the saddle.
    "What happened," I asked.

    "It was horrible. Some of us followed runes marked 'Good Food' to a woods. We were jumped by GMs wearing chefs hats and carrying cleavers. They slaughtered several people I knew & popped them into Hag's Cauldrons full of boiling water. Then they danced around the cauldrons while adding spices & chanting, 'Kick-It-Up-A-Notch!'"

    The big man shifted uncomfortably in his seat, leaned left again, and fixed me with his steely eyes. "I can show you proof," he said.
    Thebob looked around carefully, then dismounted his horse and mooned me.

    OMG! His left buttock was missing!

    "They almost got me," he said. "It was real close, I tell you."

    But UO Spokesman Woot Woot, even when confronted with this eye witness testimony, dismissed it derisively saying only, "Well, that evidence is half-arsed, ain't it?"

    -rofl-
     
  2. Taylor

    Taylor Former Stratics CEO (2011-2014)
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    Bahahaha, this is AWESOME. Thanks for the laugh, Dead Bob!