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What happened to all the nice guys?

Discussion in 'UO Spiels N Rants' started by Rider1000, Jan 12, 2010.

  1. Rider1000

    Rider1000 Guest

    What happened to all the nice guys?

    The answer is simple: you did.

    See, if you think back, really hard, you might vaguely remember a Platonic guy pal who always seemed to want to spend time with you. He'd tag along with you when you went to get keys to Lady M, stop by your house to check out your deco when you were lonely but didn't feel like hunting, or even sit there and *hugs* while you sobbed and told him about how horribly the (other) guy that you were dating in-game treated you.

    At the time, you probably joked with your girl guildmates about how he was a little puppy dog, always following you around, trying to do things to get you to pay attention to him. They probably teased you because they thought he had a crush on you. Given that his behavior was, admittedly, a little pathetic, you vehemently denied having any romantic feelings for him, and buttressed your position by claiming that you were "just friends." Besides, he totally wasn't your type. I mean, he only owned a 16x16, or didn't pvp good enough, or was too poor, or didn't know how to dress himself in armor that looked cool, or basically be or do any of the things that your castle-owning, good-looking, pvp-god, rich, rare-collecting boyfriend at the time pulled off with such ease.

    Eventually, your Platonic buddy drifted away, as your relationship with the pvp-god-rich boyfriend got more serious and spending time with this other guy was, admittedly, a little weird, if you weren't dating him. More time passed, and the pvp-god boyfriend eventually cheated on you, or became boring, or you realized that the things that attracted you to him weren't the kinds of things that make for a good, long-term relationship. So, now, you're single again, and after having tried the luna/trammel guild scene for several months having only encountered greedy, wacked out players and ****** bags, you wonder, "What happened to all the nice guys?"

    Well, once again, you did.

    You ignored the nice guy. You used him for emotional intimacy without reciprocating, in kind, with physical-cyber intimacy. You laughed at his consideration and resented his devotion. You valued the aloof boyfriend more than the attentive "just-a-" friend.

    Eventually, he took the hint and moved on with his life. He probably came to realize, one day, that women aren't really attracted to guys who buy you hair dye; or lock down potted plants at your house just because; or buy you a UO Christmas gift that you mentioned, in passing, that you really wanted five months ago; or listen when you're upset; or *hugs* when you cry. He came to realize that, if he wanted a woman like you, he'd have to act more like the rich pvp elite boyfriend that you had. He probably joined factions, made an awesome suit, bought 100m, and generally acted like more of an ##@***@ than he ever wanted to be.

    Fact is, now, he's probably getting cybered every day, and in a way, your ultimate rejection of him is to thank for that. And I'm sorry that it took the complete absence of "nice guys" in your life for you to realize that you missed them and wanted them. Most women will only have a handful of nice guys stumble into their lives, if that.

    So, if you're looking for a nice guy, here's what you do:

    1.) Build a time machine.
    2.) Go back a few years and pull your head out of your ass.
    3.) Take a look at what's right in front of you and grab ahold of it.

    I suppose the other possibility is that you STILL don't really want a nice guy, but you feel the social pressure to at least appear to have matured beyond your infantile taste in UO men. In which case, you might be in luck, because the nice guy you claim to want has, in reality, shed his nice guy mantle and is out there looking to unleash his cynicism and resentment onto someone just like you.

    If you were five years younger.

    So, please: either stop misrepresenting what you want, or own up to the fact that you've ----ed yourself over. You're getting older, after all. It's time to excise the bull---- and deal with reality. You didn't want a nice guy then, and he certainly doesn't ---ing want you, now.

    Sincerely,

    A Recovering Ultima Online Nice Guy
     
  2. Salivern_Diago

    Salivern_Diago Lore Master
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    Well said, very well said!
     
  3. lols

    lols Guest

    ... wtf?

    I am hoping this is a joke..

    because I always thought people were kidding when they said people dated in UO..

    either way, well written, and hilariosu
     
  4. Llwyd

    Llwyd Guest

    This sounds like someone got hurt in an online relationship. Hopefully, recovery will follow. It usually does once one decides the key word in any online game is "game".... :(
     
  5. Deaol

    Deaol Certifiable
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    hmm.. was gonna post tldr.. but i read it.. wierd.
     
  6. Smokin

    Smokin Guest

    Hey I am a nice guy, and I don't look for anything in return. That is what a real nice guy does. If you playing the nice guy to get a girl that is your down fall. Maybe if you were up front with your intentions you would have either been rejected and over it already or had a chance. Instead of playing a nice guy.
     
  7. Nystul

    Nystul Lore Master
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    this is awesome haha
     
  8. Zooithion

    Zooithion Crazed Zealot
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    Nice guys often finish last... they say.
    Many of us 'nice guys' wouldn't live life any other way though.
     
  9. kelmo

    kelmo Old and in the way
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    *chuckles*

    [YOUTUBE]<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/XZnhuOEUFXA&hl=en_US&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/XZnhuOEUFXA&hl=en_US&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>[/YOUTUBE]
     
  10. Whoa Yeah that's like being the bad guy in the Alanis Morissette song or whoever. It sounds directed toward a particular female player from the jilted boyfriend. It's not so odd that people get these intense online relationships however let me point out it's ONLINE and not the same as a real relationship. If you have strong feelings for someone you have never met it's probably just because you haven't ever met. This is UO not eHarmony. Live and learn because you have no control over the other player and they may be a guy anyway pretending to be a girl.
     
  11. GarthGrey

    GarthGrey Crazed Zealot
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    Well, there's always Obscurity to return to...
     
  12. Harlequin

    Harlequin Babbling Loonie
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    LOL!!

    You forgot 2 more - many nice guys also turn out to be either already married or are gay. :D
     
  13. MalagAste

    MalagAste Belaern d'Zhaunil
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    Got that right... most of them ... turn out to be married IRL... or... they are only being nice cause they want something.... once they get it.... they are gone.

    Though I've heard of many relationships that have begun in UO... and many that still are going on.... I've also heard of far more that have ended because of UO.
     
  14. Damien Softstep

    Damien Softstep Visitor

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  15. Awesome post.

    Rider1000, for all the UO ladies out there, state your shard, house location and character name(s).

    You sure have a heck of a way to advertise yourself!
     
  16. UOKaiser

    UOKaiser Guest

    Well said. He is telling the truth of real life in a game like atmosphere because after all this is a game. But it's completely true in life it happens every generation. happened with your parents.happen with you,and will happen to your kids.
     
  17. Stupid Miner

    Stupid Miner Guest

    The friendship itself is more than worth the sacrifice.
     
  18. Uvtha

    Uvtha Grand Poobah
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    I tried to cyber an ogre lord. It went poorly for me. So, I feel your pain man.
     
  19. Jhym

    Jhym Guest

    Oh it's not so bad being a nice guy.

    Now, on the other hand, when folks learn that you have other "family" members and start coming on to them, it starts to get somewhat confusing.

    :popcorn:
     
  20. Sarsmi

    Sarsmi Grand Poobah
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    Absolutely. So many guys think they are the "nice guy" because they pursued women and got rejected, and have been told they were nice. Truly, genuinely nice people of either sex are very rare. Men chase women (and vice versa but we're not talking about that) and many of them lack the imagination or understanding of how to compensate for either not being very physically attractive and they do the old fall back of trying to be as friendly as possible to get the girl they want. This doesn't make them nice.

    I have had so many guys friends who consider themselves to be nice guys, but they are really just normal guys. The OP is bitter because he felt like he wasted his time for no return (the girl didn't owe you anything btw), and he is deluded by thinking he's a nice person and women only want jerks. It probably makes him feel better. The truth is women want men they are attracted to, and if you can't be that person for the woman you want you need to keep looking, not wasting your time. When a woman says you are a nice guy or a good friend, when you really aren't either, what she is really saying is "I don't want to hurt your feelings but I'm not interested in you." But she also knows could lose a sympathetic, listen-to-all-her-problems friend if she says it too bluntly so she cushions as much as possible.

    But I'm sure the OP will get applause by every guy on the board who would rather consider himself a nice guy than an unimaginative, normal guy, who got shafted by a girl before and couldn't deal with the fact that it was his fault.
     
  21. *blinks*

    But...but....but....

    nevermind...

    *blinks*
     
  22. Hey Ridder1000 not directed to you. But the idea.


    If you are truly a nice guy then your not looking for anything. Characture is characture. If you are expecting something for being a "nice guy"... You just a manipulative *******. I know not a *******. Just said it for effect. You are just using the nice guy motif to scwhing.

    Raven
     
  23. Black Sun

    Black Sun Grand Poobah
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    That is why I only online date chicks who play farmville.

    Nice post. It made me :lol:
     
  24. Sarsmi

    Sarsmi Grand Poobah
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    Hehe, in case you're curious I do not consider myself a very nice person. I think most people are motivated by self interest, and I'm one of em. :)
     
  25. Yen Sid

    Yen Sid Guest

    This should be over in the OT or S&R forum. The OP ought to get over himself. Its a game. You should not be trying to "date" in a game. LAME! rolleyes:
     
  26. Surgeries

    Surgeries Grand Poobah
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    Sarsmi...I believe everyone is motivated by what makes them feel good. Every single person.

    There are two types of selfish in the world I read earlier in my life, and it made a lot of sense:

    Rationally & Irrationally Selfish.

    Mother Theresa was Rationally Selfish. A man who forgoes a golf date at an exclusive club when he previously promised to watch the kids on Saturday is Rationally Selfish. To do otherwise would likely cause him a tremendous amount of grief. That would be an Irrationally Selfish move.

    I think the most important thing is to recognize this simple fact of life, and then utilize it properly.
     
  27. Theo_GL

    Theo_GL Grand Poobah
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    Yeah, couldn't agree more.

    Turn off the PC man and get out and live a little. Meet some real people.

    I could not imagine going through life answerig the question 'where did you 2 meet' with 'in an online game'. LOL

    This game should be a form of entertainment not a form of reality. IMHO

    However, to the posters original point - the story is true in life as well. Many women (esp in a young age) are attracted to the 'bad boy' who, most times because he has looks or money or charisma, attracts alot of female attention. When female attention is easy to get - they take it for granted and they rarely treasure the women giving it often treating them as disposable. Of course women are blinded by their attraction and rarely see the quality of person they are spending time around.

    The guys that don't get a ton of attention tend to appreciate the women and their attention more but the women will shun them for lack of looks, charisma, money, job etc Later in life it is the opposite. Who wants to be married to the party boy full time? Hard to turn him into a father, provider and overall someone to connect with you. But when you are 18 - it sure is fun to hang out with 'fun Bobby' and show him off to your friends.

    Thats why its never a good idea to get married early - when you turn 25 you realize everything you cared about when you were 18 was complete BS.
     
  28. TheGrimmOmen

    TheGrimmOmen UO Legend
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    Grimm Alignment: True Neutral. Definitely not good, definitely not evil.
     
  29. Jhym

    Jhym Guest

    Darn. And I thought you were Glorious Evil. There goes that bet.

    :shots:
     
  30. UOKaiser

    UOKaiser Guest

    So in other words the girl wants to lead on and take advantage of (the nice guy) for someone to talk to while knowing he has feelings so instead of letting him know she will never ever be interested she just keeps giving him hope? And because he is a nice guy he just takes it? You try that to a bad boy that guy is gone the moment it takes too long. if he aint getting play he aint staying. The poor nice guy ends up staying around and taking it.
    Thats whty the woman will pick the guy that will act like she aint nothing because he knows he has other options so he will mess with you and some other girls still treat you like your special though in reality wont care.
    The girl thinking she can lose him at any momemt especially to competition will cling to him no matter what he does. She fools herself to beleiving hes attractive because he can leave her at any moment.
    The nice guy she knows aint going anywhere even though he does so many good things for her she considers him just a friend and is not attractive to her just because theres no competition and she always feel that as long as she strings him along he will take it.

    This is completely true. I've being both the nice guy and the bad guy. You treat a woman that thinks shes a queen like a hooker, you treat the woman that has no self confidence like a queen then after they get used to it a little bit pull it away and treat them the opposite then rotate again keeps women confused and unbalanced out of control and they will stick with the guy no matter what trying to hold on to the rollercoaster. This is the bad boy way.

    The nice guy is truthful and honest and always treat her like shes everything. Woman say they know what they want yet they don't want or appreciate it when they get it. Nice guys finish last thats just how it is.
    All I know during all my years of dating this always hold true for me.friends,and girls that decide to have kids with the biggest male jiggolos in the city while those guys do things like cheat, say to there friends shes just a girl it don't matter right in front of them,hit them,everything under the sun that you can think of. The girl thinks she can change them lol!
    Oh the favorite quote "He's can be very sweet and treat me real good when he wants to." <Thats the rotation working.
     
  31. Ls Jax Ls

    Ls Jax Ls Visitor

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    What happened to all the nice guys?

    They were replaced by F*****s like you.
     
  32. LordDrago

    LordDrago Certifiable
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    Nice guys don't finish last, they finish in Spiels and Rants......
     
  33. Splup

    Splup Guest

    There are two types of nice guys:

    1. The ones who end up being friends with every girl.

    2. The ones who end up getting laid.

    Thou pretty often the same guys are friends with girls when they are like 14-18 years old. Then they go to university and they have learned a lot about girls as teenagers even thou they weren't getting laid, and now in Uni they get laid enough to make up the lost 4 years of sex.

    But if you still end up being the type 1 in "older" age, you are doing something wrong.
     
  34. five oclock

    five oclock Guest

    Its all the same..only the names have changed.

    Dude I know what you mean. Time does wonders tho :D
     
  35. the 4th man

    the 4th man Lore Master
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    Damn, who screwed you over??
     
  36. Sarsmi

    Sarsmi Grand Poobah
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    Well no. If the woman is anything like me at an earlier age she is uncomfortable with a guy liking her that she has no interest in, especially if it's someone she considers a friend. It is very hard to hurt your friend's feelings. If it's someone she finds sympathetic and a good listener then she most likely knows that he likes her but doesn't want to just bust out with "I dont want to date you." For one thing, 95% of guys who give off the I-dig-you vibe would be out of there in a second flat. And its kind of hurtful, having someone you talk to you think of as a friend but they're only there to get something from you.

    I have never yet figured out why women are better at picking up social cues as far as if someone likes them or not. I always thought it was embarrassingly obvious when a girl didn't like a guy, and he would still pursue her. I don't think men are dumber than women, I honestly don't know why most guys don't get it (at least during high school/college). Anyways, the poor nice guy should take some lessons in body language, or I dunno, maybe NUT UP and ask the girl out and when she says "no", move on? Saves quite a bit of time, honesty does.

    This is bollocks propaganda spread (and believed) by guys who consider themselves as "nice guys". The absolute truth is women are with men they find attractive. And men are quite often jerks to women because they are naturally attractive, not the other way around. Just like many good looking women have discovered, they don't need a great personality to get laid. There is no strong urge to develop that area and so it wanes. People are also jerky when they know they can get someone else, and people can be clingy when they feel like they are losing someone. Both sexes are guilty of doing these things.

    BTW your "nice guy" who is "doing things" for this girl and being "strung along" - has he asked her out? Tried to kiss her? Done anything besides hope that being a slave will indicate his feelings? And if he's such a nice guy does he "do things" for all females inclusively? Or is it just coincidentally the hot ones he wants to date that he does things for? FYI: He's not being "nice" if he is trying to get something (a girlfriend) with his actions.

    Your experiences are vastly different than mine. Maybe I just know a better quality of people?
     
  37. Sarsmi

    Sarsmi Grand Poobah
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    Too lazy to fall over either side of the fence then? :p
     
  38. Sadrith Mora

    Sadrith Mora Guest

    OMG, nobody replied to Kelmo's clever video!? ;)

    I remember in the third grade (Catholic school) on our last day of the year, i brought in the Alice Cooper album that had "School's out for summer" on it. (might be the same album as this song, i forget)

    Anywho, we were told on our last day that we could bring in music, books, etc. and just have fun and play around for the day.

    Unfortunately, i didn't get to play the album. I don't think the teacher (nun) approved of it at the time, but she didn't say that outright...

    Funny though, it brought back these memories... lol

    Ok, back to the OP :popcorn:
     
  39. Taylor

    Taylor Former Stratics CEO (2011-2014)
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    Couldn't have said it better, myself. In high school, I tried playing the nice guy and the same thing happened. That's why, when I grew up, I stopped playing nice. :thumbup1:

    P.S. Cheer up, OP. Eventually, you'll be married to a wonderful girl who's not pixels, but flesh and bone. At that point, you'll be able to look back on this occasion and laugh.
     
  40. siyeng0

    siyeng0 Guest

    LOL nice guys.

    Girls do know the difference between "I'm nice to you because I want you to be happy" and passive-aggressive "I want to get in your pants so I'll be so nice to you that you won't feel comfortable saying no" niceness, you know.

    Also, you plagiarised this off Craigslist. Passive-aggressive, sexually starved and completely unimaginative? What a catch you are. Go buy an H-game.
     
  41. Rider1000

    Rider1000 Guest

    Whoa there, cowboy. Have a sense of humor.
     
  42. Coffin

    Coffin Guest

    No doubt. Who hasn't seen this copypasta? But he knows what an H-game is. I'm guessing past experiences with weeaboo tendencies. I love it when people strike for the jugulars on the assumption of authentic posting. Blurring the lines between the internet and reality a little? Or maybe OP hit a nerve and he's just lashing out. Lol.
     
  43. siyeng0

    siyeng0 Guest

    gtfo, I'm an angry feminist, the very concept of humour is alien to me.
     
  44. rayvowrath

    rayvowrath Guest

    Play the game, Dont let the game play you.....
     
  45. Lightning 1

    Lightning 1 Adventurer
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    Sarsmi post #36.
    Wow what an excellent reply. Thank you.
     
  46. KalVasTENKI

    KalVasTENKI Babbling Loonie
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    Who wants to cuddle?
     
  47. Lightning 1

    Lightning 1 Adventurer
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