1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.
  2. Greetings Guest!!

    In order to combat SPAM on the forums, all users are required to have a minimum of 2 posts before they can submit links in any post or thread.

    Dismiss Notice

WHY ISN'T SHE PUTTING OUT!?!?

Discussion in 'UHall' started by Prince Caspian, Oct 12, 2011.

  1. Denise, the Chef in my Tower (Barkeep).

    Why isn't she putting out a menu to buy up food options when I say "Vendor Buy"?! I could have sworn at one time such a specialized NPC (Barkeep class) would sell items like apples, vegetables and bottles of ale.

    She ignores my inquires to buy. In fact she just hangs out and does nothing. At least my Herald yaks his head off when people walk by, like a novelty mounted fish (given to you by the same kind of friend who think Chia pets are cute gifts)
     
  2. Flutter

    Flutter Always Present
    Stratics Veteran Alumni Stratics Legend

    Joined:
    May 12, 2004
    Messages:
    21,553
    Likes Received:
    3,840
    I don't know but I think this is my favorite thread title of all time.
     
  3. Dermott of LS

    Dermott of LS UOEC Modder
    Stratics Veteran

    Joined:
    May 12, 2008
    Messages:
    5,320
    Likes Received:
    528
    ...

    Now why does that not surprise me Flutter?
     
  4. The sky above Malas was turning a deep russet orange as Prince Caspian returned to Cair Paravel. He stepped from his spectral steed as the Charger of the Fallen disappeared in a wisp. He headed towards the Manse portion of the estate, and walked inside to see Denise The Chef stirring a pot, dough flecked about her face and a chef's hat tilted across her head.

    :stir:

    Caspian got right to the point. "Evening, Denise. I've been thinking about your buns all day. I really wanted to grab them before I headed off to The Dark Guardians Chamber in Doom."

    Denise arched an eyebrow. "You know I don't take my buns out before mornsong, milord. You know they need time to warm up."

    Caspian removed his Stormgrip gauntlets and loosened his gorget slightly. "I know, but I want your buns even when they are cold. In fact I was hoping you'd have your melons out and ready for me by now, but I see that's not the case." The Paladin Archer sighed and gave the chef a rebuking look.

    Putting the bowl down, Denise's face creased with annoyance. "Milord, the melons I have are hardly presentable. They are of an odd shape and they smell funny. I thought you'd want to have my pie instead tonight." Caspian shook his head slightly and put up a hand in half-hearted capitulation.

    Caspian opened the cabinet in the nearby trophy room. He grimaced and held up his silver-blue undead slayer bow. Drawing back the string, the bowstring glowed with a soft shimmer. Caspian grunted.

    "Denise, remember when you pulled out my Mischief Maker last night and started fooling around with it?"

    "Aye," the chef said, going back to her pie batter, "I believe you wanted me learn how to use it, should I ever need to pull some shafts."

    Caspian nodded and pulled the upper arc of the bow. "I did. But I think you were pulling on it too hard again, and you bent it out of shape. My dear, I think I told you before that I've put a great deal of Powder of Fortification on my Mischief Maker to make it last me so long, but I think you are going to break it in two one of these nights."

    Denise's infuriated glare drove her attention away from her food preparation. She looked back to see it near ruin. "Fie! Milord, I am sorry, but I think I stirred my pie too stiffly, and now it's runny. Do you still want it now?"

    Caspian closed the weapons cabinet. "No, I don't care for your pie when it's like that. But mayhaps I can lick the bowl?"

    "Nay, milord. My bowl has been out too long and hath gone all crusty and dry."

    Caspian shook his head and started up the stairs to his bedchamber. "Never mind. I think I'll go upstairs and crank on Dawn's music box until I get tired. Good evening, Denise."
     
  5. Kojak

    Kojak Lore Master
    Stratics Veteran

    Joined:
    Jun 4, 2008
    Messages:
    1,012
    Likes Received:
    696
    this whole post reminds me of George's "move" from Seinfeld - hehe
     
  6. Lady Storm

    Lady Storm Crazed Zealot
    Stratics Veteran Stratics Legend

    Joined:
    Feb 20, 2006
    Messages:
    3,752
    Likes Received:
    1,568
    We really must teach you how to open a thread....... without causing a jaw dropping responce.
     
  7. Petra Fyde

    Petra Fyde Peerless Chatterbox
    Stratics Veteran Alumni Stratics Legend

    Joined:
    Jan 5, 2001
    Messages:
    30,889
    Likes Received:
    5,175
    Of the titles that can be chosen for a barkeep only certain ones offer food and drink. Having said that 'chef' is one of the ones that should.
    I just logged in to my Europa chars to check the barkeeps I have there. The innkeeper no longer offers a 'buy' option, only the 'barkeep' does.
    I suggest putting in a bug report.
    very, erm, interesting, story there :D
     
  8. Splup

    Splup Guest

    Maybe she's having a bad week.
     
  9. Capn Kranky

    Capn Kranky Guest

    Ask the herald the right question and he'll blab as to what he and Denise have REALLY been doing in the pantry.

    Make THAT into another story! Nice going. :thumbup1::thumbup1::thumbup1:
     
  10. Capn Kranky

    Capn Kranky Guest

    I recall the Alex De Large days of PC's posting history. This is rather tame.

    I thought it a good way to get a point across, though.
     
  11. Ludes

    Ludes Babbling Loonie
    Stratics Veteran Alumni Stratics Legend

    Joined:
    Feb 25, 2004
    Messages:
    2,382
    Likes Received:
    648
    Well Done Caspian.
     
  12. Specialshoes

    Stratics Veteran

    Joined:
    Jul 4, 2008
    Messages:
    509
    Likes Received:
    29
    Usually I find that when this happens I am out of Vicodin and Tequilla
     
  13. TheGrimmOmen

    TheGrimmOmen UO Legend
    VIP Stratics Veteran Stratics Legend

    Joined:
    Sep 28, 2004
    Messages:
    779
    Likes Received:
    303

    ROFL. OMG.

    -Grimm
     
  14. Shelra

    Shelra Seasoned Veteran
    Stratics Veteran

    Joined:
    Jan 17, 2010
    Messages:
    440
    Likes Received:
    169
    lol, well written - Thank you for the laughs.
     
  15. Mirt

    Mirt Certifiable
    Stratics Veteran

    Joined:
    Dec 28, 2009
    Messages:
    1,726
    Likes Received:
    286
    Will never drink coffee while reading your posts again. Think I just burned my entire digestive track:gee:
     
  16. Magdalena Chef

    Magdalena Chef Journeyman
    Stratics Veteran

    Joined:
    Mar 6, 2009
    Messages:
    212
    Likes Received:
    11


    Bravo. *goes back to pie batter*
     
  17. Kayne

    Kayne Guest

    :lol: OMG Caspian I thought Kylie Kinslayer had me in fits of laughter but OMG your short story has got me in tears. Please do continue your habit of making up these random tales
     
  18. Flutter

    Flutter Always Present
    Stratics Veteran Alumni Stratics Legend

    Joined:
    May 12, 2004
    Messages:
    21,553
    Likes Received:
    3,840
    If that's the way it went down I'm not surprised you're not getting any.
     
  19. Hildebrand

    Hildebrand Certifiable
    Stratics Veteran Stratics Legend

    Joined:
    Oct 12, 2005
    Messages:
    1,697
    Likes Received:
    1
    Thanks for the laugh!
     
  20. Viper09

    Viper09 Grand Poobah
    Stratics Veteran

    Joined:
    May 16, 2008
    Messages:
    6,680
    Likes Received:
    824
    Oh my...lmao!
     
  21. G.v.P

    G.v.P Stratics Legend
    Stratics Veteran Stratics Legend

    Joined:
    Jul 11, 2004
    Messages:
    9,644
    Likes Received:
    831
    I think if you change a barkeep to another kind of npc it'll bug what is sold...I forget the exact details, but there was some sort of bug...might have to just get a new deed.