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Yew Times #22

Discussion in 'UO Atlantic' started by SunWolf, Dec 8, 2011.

  1. SunWolf

    SunWolf Seasoned Veteran
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    I try to keep the books in game but I figured I will post the newest one that came out last Tuesday on Stratics here. I could post each issue and also do the ingame ones aswell but figured I leave that up to you all. #22 was written by four differnent people and we had stories left over for 23.




    Yew Times #22

    [CURRENT NEWS]



    FRUITCAKE REVELATION BEGS SECOND LOOK



    Fruitcake; it's been around for years, but how much do we really know about this familiar holiday treat? Recent findings have revealed information that may startle the public, namely where it is made. Surprisingly, no new fruitcake has been produced in the last 200 years. As a matter of fact, all fruitcake received as a gift is never consumed, but in fact is repackaged and re-gifted again creating an endless cycle of fruitcake circulation. It would not be so surprising to consider then that possibly the first incident that pushes Mondain towards the dark side was the receiving of a holiday fruitcake, and his first evil act being the rewrapping and re-gifting of that same fruitcake to another unfortunate individual. Historians are still looking into the matter, but we are sure that many of fruitcake's mysteries have yet to be unlocked and revealed. Only time will tell.


    MAN WALKS OUT OF GOLDEN FANG CASINO PRATICALLY NAKED AND IN TROUBLE:



    The Britannian Gaming Commission reported today of a man who frequented the Golden Fang Casino with the intent to claim it big, was reported throwing fits of rage when the dealers would say the words "Sorry, Please Play Again". It was also reported that one of the dealers after saying those words had accidentally tipped off his staff and a beautiful display of fireworks enveloped the building. The man reported by bystanders became furious, and started removing high-end clothing and pawning it to the dealers for another hand at blackjack. Bearing himself down to his shorts, the man punched one of the dealers in the face after he lost his last piece of clothing to his misfortune, broke a few bottles of alcohol, and stole a High Roller Chest Piece, running from the casino repeatedly saying the words: "Sorry, Please Play Again" The man was last seen entering the Malas Woods near Luna with only shorts on, and a High Roller Breastplate equipped. If you have seen this man please contact The Britannian Gaming Commission and Ace in the Hole, owner of the Golden Fang Casino for Reward information, if the man is apprehended and the prized High Roller Piece is returned.



    Grim Reaper's Tale

    At this festive time of year, many holiday tales regale themselves as families sit around their trees and drink their favorite festive beverage. Thomas Morley had one for more of a ghoulish holiday tale that would not find the village children all nestled in their beds. He cautioned those who venture into the forest near the dungeon Shame to watch for the "reaper". No, not the reaper whose cloaked in dark curtains of gloom but the talking tree who promises great fortune only to deliver an eminent evil for anyone who partakes of it's resources. Thomas's eyes filled with tears as he told the tale of the little boy (his great-great-great grandfather).

    It was a Christmas Eve so long ago, the young boy ventured out into the forest looking for the perfect Christmas tree to decorate and bring about the holiday. As he searched he heard a voice calling to him, 'little one, come here." the hushed whisper beckoned. As he approached cautiously, the large tree's limbs began to move about in a dance with the wind as it's willing accompaniment. The tree promised the boy that should he partake of its natural resource, it would bring peace and goodwill to all it touched. The young lad then reached for the juiciest apple, imagining the delicious apple dumplings his mother would create. As he spiraled the apple in his fingers, the reaper's bellowing roar tore through the air as a bolt of lightning burst from the tree, marking the apple with a bright hue of green to it's rotund frame for but a moment before turning red again. The boy ran home with the apple safely snug in his satchel but told no one about his encounter. When he returned that evening to the warmth of his family's kitchen, he positioned the apple at the very top of apple bowl to be used in the holiday festivities the next day. His mother, a very kind soul, would make pies for the whole village, a tradition they fulfilled every year. That holiday would not be one of good tidings and joy, for all the children that year were afflicted with a rare skin disorder that caused a red stain to appear on the left side of their face. No one knew the cause of the affliction but one. The young boy knew in his heart that the reaper had lied about its benevolent motivation. He armed himself with his largest axe and set out to chop this tree down, but when arriving at the spot he had chanced upon the large tree, he found but an empty patch that appeared more like a gravesite. As the years moved on, the young boy grew into a man whose demons caused him to move on from city to city, never long enough to make a home. The guilt he carried ate at him.... Nightmares were a foreboding partner especially when the holidays neared. One holiday season he met a young beautiful lady, Grace whose lovely voice graced the local saloon's venue. The sight of her face caught one's breath until you met her gaze and found the tortured look within her eyes. As he sat down in the tavern, fresh brew in hand, the soldier seated to his left, began a tale much like his own regarding this beautiful siren. At the mention of a "dancing tree with beguiling ways', the young man's interest was piqued. The young girl had encountered it as she played in the woods one Christmas Eve as she swung upon its branches and sung her favorite carol. The reaper made yet another unfulfilled promise of goodwill and cheer from anything made from its resources. The eager child ran to her father, a local wizard and begged him to make her a wooden lute from the tree's bark. He could not refuse. The next morning as the families filled the local church for a service of Christmas Cheer. The father strummed the lute and the little girl's voice hummed along. One by one each parishioner arose from their pew, a blank expression adorning their face. To the father and daughter's surprise, the crowd moved to the edge of a nearby cliff and jumped. As their song finished and scene unfolded, it was clear they were the only ones to survive. The father took the lute and watched as the flames danced about it, never to be strummed again. He returned to the sight of the "dancing tree" to find it still there. Its swaying branches attempted to wrap its arms around him, he ducked and skirted around to its rear, brandishing a large ax he chopped the tree down and uttering the words to a curse. To this day no one knows for sure if the tree was wiped from existence or carried on in another land to bring about its evil ways. For the wizard returned the next day to burn the stump, and quell his daughter's fear to find, an empty hole, devoid of any roots or remnant of the tree. It is told that the wizard's curse caused the "dancing tree" to atone for all its evil by ridding the world of its worse sinners. Hence, the executioner's prop… A lone stump for which the errant soul rests for their last sleep



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  2. I love these Newspapers, they are funny, witty, and a great read. Thank you sunwolf, and to your whole team. I cant wait till the next one comes out.
    :banana::danceb::banana::danceb::banana::danceb:
     
  3. Woop Sunwolf !
    Next issue you should add pictures :)
     
  4. SunWolf

    SunWolf Seasoned Veteran
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    That actualy is a very good idea, we will see what we can do for the next one.
     
  5. DeadBob

    DeadBob Ancient Alien
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    Yeh, SunWolf, you guys do a great job. It has to be a lot of work, but many players enjoy the Yew Times. Thank you!