At a recent general meeting, Pitmuck goblin leader Ozog Giantfart declared that King Blackthorn's recent absence constituted dereliction of duty (in so many words), and that he would be holding a Council meeting--in King Blackthorn's own Council room--for his own coronation. On Wednesday, August 19th, that is exactly what he did. At an informal and likely treasonous Council gathering, Ozog invited the Britannian governors and Pitmuck goblins to celebrate what he called a "bloodless coup".
Several governors did, in fact, attend--which will no doubt be of great interest to King Blackthorn. Seated in their usual positions were Governor Victor II of Minoc, Governor Murdock Redbone of Britain, Governor Phoenix of Trinsic, and Governor Lauren of Moonglow.
Governor Ivy of Vesper apparently did not wish to attend according to her daughter Elaine, whom she sent in her stead to observe and report the proceedings. Governor Tehan also declined to attend personally and sent a representative, Ork Magus Kipu, who arrived too late to witness the events unfold.
Also in attendance were Lady Ashlynn of Cove and goblins Kia Winn, Tinky Footz, and Amizelly Rustpot.
As the event began, Ozog issued the following speech:
"AARP ALL. AS MANY OB YOOS KNOWS BLACKY HAS BEEN GONE A LONG TIMES. WELL I DECIDED YOOS NEED A NEW KING SO MEEES HAD A BLOODLESS COUP. MEEES NOW DA KING."
Several people in attendance questioned the validity of this bold claim while the goblins cheered. However, before much discussion could be held, a hooded figure emerged from the shadows and bellowed, "BRITANNIA BE MINE!"
The hooded stranger leaped at Ozog with a poisoned blade and quickly dispatched the ambitious goblin. He fell to the floor dead, and the figure dodged back into the shadows and vanished before the stunned audience could react or mount a defense.
The goblins in attendance were distraught, but the other attendees took the assassination in stride.
Although the assassin wore a dark hood several of the attendees immediately claimed that she was none other than Holly Bloodhand, one-time governor of Vesper, known kidnapper, murderer, and pirate, and wanted traitor to the crown. With accusations flying and Ozog's corpse still warm at her feet, Governor Phoenix saw an opportunity.
Other governors quickly jumped in seeming support of this idea. Governor Victor II expressed a need for a demolitions testing ground, and Governor Murdock Redbone had an even more unfortunate plan for the island.
The question arose as to how the assassin got past the Britain guards, and Governor Murdock Redbone was quick to direct blame to the absent Governor Ivy of Vesper, much to the anger of her daughter Elaine. At this point, Lady Ashlynn of Cove suggested the Royal Guard be alerted while Elaine and Amizelly Rustpot swapped stories of Holly Bloodhand's misdeeds. Only then did Governor Tehan's representative, Ork Magus Kipu, arrive to find that the reign of "King" Ozog had already ended in death.
In a surprising twist, the murdered goblin was immediately succeeded by his previously unknown identical twin brother, also named Ozog Giantfart. It was unclear whether this new Ozog would attempt to claim the throne, but he did call for Holly Bloodhand's death. He also requested to be left alone in his grief, and the meeting attendees obliged and departed.
King Blackthorn's whereabouts, knowledge of, and opinion of this incident remain unknown.
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An ambitious goblin tries to crown himself King of Britannia but is assassinated at his own coronation!