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My First Test Subject

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  1. So I began my attempt to infiltrate and study the bi-peds in their natural environment. So I first traveled to what they call Atlantic and sought out a Bi-ped in their city of New Haven. The stonecobbles were crowded with bi-peds so I approached one cautiously…

    [Squeaks McFluff]: Hey you! Bi-ped

    I said… but it sat on a four legged hoofed creature and ignored me. So I picked another bi-ped that was moving this time.

    [Squeaks McFluff]: Hey you! Bi-ped

    [Squeaks McFluff]: Listen.

    [Squeaks McFluff]: I got quesions.

    [Death Returns]: what

    It answered turning towards me… then looking down. I do not think it was prepared for me. I’m sure it was unaccustomed to our kind speaking.

    [Squeaks McFluff]: Will you answer some questions for me?

    I asked full of hope.

    [Death Returns]: yes

    Oh the delight! It has agreed to be my test subject!

    [Squeaks McFluff]: Good good

    [Squeaks McFluff]: See I got questions.

    [Squeaks McFluff]: You know.

    [Death Returns]: ok

    [Squeaks McFluff]: Like What are your favorite things to do in the lands of Sosaria?

    [Death Returns]: never been there

    [Death Returns]: lol

    Shock and disbelief the creature does not know where it is!

    [Squeaks McFluff]: you are standing on it?

    [Squeaks McFluff]: Wow! Bi-peds.

    I’m still in shock.

    [Squeaks McFluff]: Don't even know the name of their own land.

    I must try to rephrase the inquiry.

    [Squeaks McFluff]: You know this rock you’re on?

    [Death Returns]: i pvm all day

    I understand this sort of code for they kill creatures, you know it’s one of the murderers.

    [Squeaks McFluff]: What do you call it?

    I was trying to solidify the code word.

    [Squeaks McFluff]: Oh so you hunt then?

    I ask it. Knowing full well what it does. I’m now very concerned for my life. But I must be brave. I put on the brave face.

    [Death Returns]: yes

    [Squeaks McFluff]: Where do you like to Hunt?

    [Death Returns]: come will show u

    Oh Success! Wait? What?

    [Squeaks McFluff]: Will I die?

    Is my fear showing? Oh god, this is it I could be going to the acorn tree in the skies!

    [Squeaks McFluff]: Can I gather nuts there?

    I ask trying to not look petrified.

    [Death Returns]: Vas Rel Por

    It speaks waving its upper limbs around strangely. A large blue glowing hole appears and I think I see something inside it. The bi-ped then signals me to follow it and vanishes into this blue hole. I come out into a desert. The air is hot and dry. And oh my God! There is a large cat like creature here with the face of a bi-ped! She did bring me to death!

    [Squeaks McFluff]: Ooo big kitty!

    I want to run, I feel something warm and wet at my back feet. Oh great, I hope she didn’t notice that! I see the dark stain in the sand and as she’s focused on the cat creature I quickly bury the evidence.

    [Death Returns]: Kal Vas Xen Corp Ylem

    It says waving its arms again strangely, I know this it’s their magic. A giant rock creature appears and begins to pummel the cat thing. Oh god! I think it is killing it. I’m not sure if I should feel bad for the cat or happy that I’m not on the menu.

    [Squeaks McFluff]: Good hunting here?

    Be brave! Be brave you can do this.

    [Death Returns]: yes

    [Squeaks McFluff]: Get you lots of nuts?

    [Death Returns]: 100 a hit

    I am confused as I am not seeing any nuts. Certainly not in the numbers this thing is talking about.

    [Death Returns]: 1000

    I still see no nuts.


    [Squeaks McFluff]: Oh nice.

    I continue to watch it destroy the poor creature.

    [Death Returns]: Kal Vas Xen Corp Ylem

    It resummons the rock creature who once again immediately begins to destroy the cat thing.

    [Death Returns]: Nyraxle

    And the cat falls to the ground dead.

    [Squeaks McFluff]: So where do you live?

    [Squeaks McFluff]: Can you show me that too?

    I am trying to discover more about these bi-peds. I sure hope my fear isn’t showing. I glance out into the sand. No can’t see the spot. That’s good. It throws some very shinny stuff at me.

    [Squeaks McFluff]: Ooo Nuts!

    [Squeaks McFluff]: Shinny nuts!

    I try to bite it. Ow! No not tasty. I’m not sure what to do but it offered me a gift of some sort so I stash it in my hidden fur pouch. I’m sure there are a thousand of them at least.

    [Squeaks McFluff]: So where do you live?

    [Squeaks McFluff]: Can you show me?

    I just want to get away from here!

    [Death Returns]: malas

    [Death Returns]: yes

    Oh thank the gods! Malas that is where the land is all broken. Good trees there in some places and some burned trees in others.

    [Squeaks McFluff]: Oh good!

    [Death Returns]: Vas Rel Por

    It opens the blue hole again and we step through.

    [Squeaks McFluff]: Green here I like that!

    It invites me into its nest. It’s a large square white nest. Inside I see two small dead looking trees. This creature is most wicked indeed.


    [Squeaks McFluff]: Trees?

    [Squeaks McFluff]: This is a funny tree.

    I try to communicate more with the strange creature and find out about these strange trees.

    [Death Returns]: fate

    [Death Returns]: Orlavdra

    It turned itself into a green glowing creature with no face! Now I die I’m sure! But yet strangely I follow it up some stairs. There are some water fountains along the wall here spitting out water into small vats.

    [Squeaks McFluff]: Lots of water here that's good water is good.

    I say nervously as we head up to another level. Oh there is a wonderful tree here! It smells of chocolate.

    [Squeaks McFluff]: You sleep in here?


    I ask standing near the tree.

    [Death Returns]: yes

    [Squeaks McFluff]: This looks like a cozy tree.

    [Death Returns]: come

    It beckons me to a stone with carvings on it. We step upon the stone and are instantly transported somewhere where there is grass all about.

    [Squeaks McFluff]: ooo magic stone!

    [Squeaks McFluff]: Greenspace!

    I hug the grass thankful to still be alive and not in some torment chamber.

    [Squeaks McFluff]: How long have you been a resident?

    [Squeaks McFluff]: You know walked the stones?

    Still trying to learn more about them.

    [Death Returns]: 2 yrs

    [Squeaks McFluff]: Oh a young bi-ped.

    I don’t know how long they live but this one seems really young.

    [Death Returns]: yes

    [Squeaks McFluff]: *cleans whiskers*

    [15:30:26] [Death Returns]: Vas Rel Por

    It has opened another blue hole! But I am not done!

    [Squeaks McFluff]: Oh. more questions...

    [Death Returns]: Tarisstree

    Now it turned itself into a killer tree! Oh Gods I’m to die now!

    [Squeaks McFluff]: Please!

    I beg for my wee little life!

    [Death Returns]: Vas Rel Por

    It opens the blue hole again and we go through. Oh thank god it took me back to New Haven! I could almost kiss the ground, but I don’t want to show it fear. Two other bi-peds on 4 legged creatures are here.

    [Jarlaxle]: TRUMP?!

    [Death Returns]: Tarisstree

    The bi-ped I was conversing with turns back to its previous form.

    [Donald Trump]: whts up

    [Squeaks McFluff]: So, more questions please?

    I beg for it to let me finish.

    [Jarlaxle]: TRUMP?!

    [Death Returns]: not much

    [Donald Trump]: yea

    [Donald Trump]: whts

    [Jarlaxle]: RUN AWAY Y'ALL

    [Jarlaxle]: WAAAAAAA

    [Jarlaxle]: TRUMP'S HERE!

    [Donald Trump]: lol ok

    Strange creatures! They are trying to scare me! I must be strong! Puff up my chest look bigger more intimidating!

    [Squeaks McFluff]: What change since you came has been your favorite?

    I keep trying to learn more about it but it stares blankly at me.

    [Squeaks McFluff]: Can't answer that?

    Moving on to another question.

    [Squeaks McFluff]: How about… Which is your favorite city?

    [Squeaks McFluff]: This one?

    [Death Returns]: nh'

    Strange dialect but I think it means New Haven. I can only guess though.

    [Squeaks McFluff]: Ooo good good.

    [Death Returns]: brb

    [Squeaks McFluff]: What if you could add anything to that town to make it better or more useful what would it be?

    I try to ask it more questions

    [Death Returns]: hier stats 4 toons

    I have no idea how that can help the town. But I don’t know what bi-peds believe.

    [Death Returns]: brb

    This is the second time it has given me this code. I have no idea what it does. But now it seems to be frozen. Its eyes stare blankly out into the harbor. I will watch and see what happens.

    [Squeaks McFluff]: *waits patiently*

    Oh god how long can it stare!? Oh look pants. I should wear some you know blend in with the bi-peds. I grab them off the ground and put my legs into them. So strange. Ack! It’s matting my fur! Oh I want it off. How do they stand this?

    [Jarlaxle]: you started it

    Oh a box wonder what’s in it!

    [Squeaks McFluff]: *sniffs box*

    Smells like wood. I feel bad for whomever lost their home for this! There must be dozens of these wooden boxes just discarded here. Yep here are a bunch more near this white stone building. For shame!

    [Jarlaxle]: I didn't start it

    I turn around and there is the bi-Ped I think they called it Trump. Oh god its sitting on a DOG!

    [Squeaks McFluff]: Ooo big dog!

    Dang it another warm puddle! I hope no one saw that. Oh great pants are wet. Toss them back on the ground. Could this get any worse?

    [Donald Trump]: Kal Ort Por

    [Jarlaxle]: Sanctum Viatas

    [Jarlaxle]: Sanctum Viatas

    Oh thank the gods the other two bi-peds have gone. But this one is still frozen. Oh a tree!

    [Squeaks McFluff]: *looks about for nuts*

    Hum… white nuts?

    [Squeaks McFluff]: *nibbles the garlic*

    Ew! No I have tasted this before! Nasty! Oh yes its used for making the magics.

    [Squeaks McFluff]: Whooo.

    Oh that burns!

    [Squeaks McFluff]: Thats a nasty nut.

    Oh is that a nut its brown!

    [Squeaks McFluff]: *tastes the ginseng*

    [Squeaks McFluff]: Yuck.

    No not a nut but this is more stuff used to make the magics.

    [Squeaks McFluff]: *spits*

    [Squeaks McFluff]: *cleans whiskers*

    Ok focus. The bi-ped. I had more questions. It is acting like a tree. I should treat it like a tree see if it awakens again.

    [Squeaks McFluff]: *runs up her robe and back down*


    [Squeaks McFluff]: Bi=peds. so tree like sometimes.

    Sees a book on the ground.

    [Squeaks McFluff]: *stands on the book trying to be taller*

    [Squeaks McFluff]: *scratches behind his ear with his foot*

    [Squeaks McFluff]: Oooo. Drat! Only had one more question.

    [Squeaks McFluff]: I think it is frozen.

    Grabs its covering.

    [Squeaks McFluff]: *tugs at it*

    [Squeaks McFluff]: Perhaps I need to study the Bi-peds more.

    [Squeaks McFluff]: It can certainly stand in one place for a very long time.

    I know I can’t.

    [Squeaks McFluff]: *shifts back and forth watching it. *

    [Squeaks McFluff]: Hum. Must make a note. Bi-ped code brb must mean turn to stone?

    Scratches that onto a paper.

    [Squeaks McFluff]: I think I will have to find another Bi-ped.

    [Squeaks McFluff]: This one must be broken. For now I finalize my report on this one. I must learn to take better images too. I am sure I’ll get better with time.

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Recent User Reviews

  1. kelmo
    "My first review..."
    PROS - Fun and smart.
    CONS - A lil drawn out.
    Great effort! I hope to see many more stories from the SN.