As per instructions, I sailed to Buc's Den ti find my new nemesis. But the only drunken pirate there...was drunk!! I didn't know what to do! How can I implore my wrath if he doesn't care?? But then I took a page from Star Trek and decided to get drunk too. and drunker. and drunker... .... ...gimme that hat! There for awhile I forgot what I was mad about. (Don't tell Kelmo!) Can you beleive it!!! He still ignores me!! Now I am stomping mad! How dare he attack my poor unarmed, unmanned girl!! And then just stand there and drink!!! He is a first class number one chicken****!! He will not face me on the open seas! With armaments and crew! He IS NO pirate! Just a DRUNKEN SLOB!!