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[News] Blood-stained Stories

Discussion in 'UO Siege Perilous' started by Guest, Jul 12, 2006.

  1. Guest

    Guest Guest

    <table width="100%" bgcolor="#fee6b8"> <tr> <td>
    <table width="100" align="center"> <tr> <td> [​IMG] </td> </tr> </table>
    Hooray! It's me again! Last night, I dragged my weary feet along to the Golden Unicorn, to rest, listen to the stories, and enjoy a good drink or two - but instead of the droves of story-tellers, I found a gentleman with the strange name of Wispwood Shire, wanting to impress me with magic tricks!

    After some card tricks, he made me disappear, and then reappear next to a lovely building in Safe Haven, where Story Night was being held!

    The room soon filled up with vampires, who seem to be becoming more and more cultured with each passing day.
    One day, perhaps they will surpass even we elves - or perhaps they already have, and are in the early stages of their 2nd or 3rd cycle...

    <table width="275" align="center" border="2" bordercolor="#808000"> <tr> <td>[​IMG]</td></tr></table>
    Unfortunately, they had brought their own drinks with them, and the two closest to me kept proposing toasts to WyRm's girlfriend, so some of my notes may be a bit blood-splattered.      
    It is unavoidable - as any vampire will tell you, getting blood-stains out is not an easy matter!

    Hemroid had a tale, but sadly, an EVIL wizard got in the way before I could write much of it down. Still, I did get a nice painting...

    <table bordercolor="#808080" width="275" align="center" bgcolor="#ffffff" border="1"> <tr> <td> <p align="center">A Short Story

    [​IMG]</p></td></tr> <tr> <td>[​IMG]HERE I WAS SITTING ON A

    <table bordercolor="#ff0000" width="100%" bgcolor="#000000" border="1"> <tr> <td> <p align="center">[​IMG]</p></td></tr></table>
    THE END [​IMG]</td></tr></table>
    Sorry about that. Stupid wizards, they get everywhere these days! Sadly, that got no votes. Strange. I think the wizard's to blame.

    Next, was Crunch.
    I still don't understand how an undead vampire can tell his life story, but there's much about this world we live in that I don't understand. Too bad about the vampiric drinks splattering everywhere...

    <table bordercolor="#008000" width="300" align="center" bgcolor="#ffffff" border="1"> <tr> <td> <p align="center">A Vampire's Life Story
    </p></td></tr> <tr> <td>[​IMG]y fellow siegelets.
    i am here to tell a story
    of my life
    i was born in a ta[​IMG]

    i lived in a trashbag for years [​IMG]
    until i was old enough to go to school.
    then i died
    <p align="center">[​IMG]</p>
    Crunch crunch bo bunch
    banana fana fo funch
    fee fi mo munch
    <p align="left">[​IMG]</p> <p align="right">[​IMG]</p></td></tr></table>
    Sorry about the blood stains - I think he said he was born to a member of TAX, or something.
    Could this be Dagashi's long lost heir?  No one wanted to vote for that either. I think it was the song that put them off.
    Perhaps next time he should bring some dancers along with him, or trained rats?

    I was begining to despair of ever getting a complete tale written down, with all these blood-stains, and wizards, and interruptions, but then, a hush fell over the room.
    A dark shape, bristling with power, evil, mystery, and Undead Cologne No. 6, strode majestically up to the podium, and began to speak... Most of the blood stopped flying - for a while. Most.

    <table bordercolor="#ffff00" width="528" align="center" bgcolor="#ffffff" border="1"> <tr> <td> <p align="center">[​IMG]  A small story about a very poor guy   [​IMG]
    </p></td></tr> <tr> <td>[​IMG]e was so poor
    he used to eat grass
    he slept in the streets
    and he used to cook birds in the morning
    everybody was so [​IMG] with him
    because he was messing the streets of skara brae
    the guy was a disaster
    one day.,,.
    he said to himself
    "i dont deserve that"
    I want to travel to YEW
    and all beautiful countries
    and he started working.,,.
    yes infidel
    umbra too
    trained snoop
    macroed stealing !
    yes HE DID
    ONE DAY [​IMG]
    was snooping..,,.
    and saw an ORNAMENT !!!
    inside an idiot's bag
    he went slowly...
    he had 120 stealing!!
    he stole it unnoticed !!!
    he was super happy !!
    AND then he went to the market
    he made an auction
    the bids were high
    startyed at 15M
    he was like [​IMG] IM RICH
    and then
    SOLD IT FOR 71 M
    seventy one MILLIONS
    to an idiot from Trinsic
    and then
    he ran to the bank
    in the road,.,.
    he felt something strange...
    i know.. you must be asking
    what ?
    what did he feel ?
    a subtle pain..
    and he then UNDERSTOOD
    before perishing on the road alone,.,.
    he wasnt supposed to be rich
    the idiot fought against his pathetic fate !!
    and FAILED !!!!!!!
    do u see ?
    dont fight against your PATHETIC FATES, BLUES [​IMG]
    because sooner or later
    non believers
    Fear not... The process of Purification is quick and painless !!! Embrace it !!!
    Very well done! The passion that was put into that performance had to be seen to be believed! The atmosphere was electric!
    Not as electrified as it became later, with thunderbolts and lightning, but still... electric. Wyrm got 2 votes for that. Things were looking up!

    Inspired by WyRm, I remembered a song I'd heard somewhere or other, that had at least one vampire in it.
    Luckily, I had this one on a nice clean scroll, and kept it blood-free in my backpack.

    <table border="1" width="530" bordercolor="#ff8000" align="center" bgcolor="#ffffff"> <tr> <td> <p align="center">Those were the days
    Beatrice Quill
    </p></td></tr> <tr> <td> [​IMG] nce upon a time there was a vampire,
    Who used to glare at me and you
    Remember how he wielded his evil powers,
    And screams followed all that he would do

    Those were the days old fiend
    We thought they meant our end
    We'd scream and flee every day
    We'd say many 'oOooOoo's
    We'd die and lose
    For we were young, and killers made us pay....

    La la la la
    Those were the PKs,
    oh yes there were PKs.

    Then the Age of Shadows was upon us
    We lost our vanq weaps one day
    Necromancy made some more of a vampire
    And yet less and less so each day

    Those were the days old friend
    True heroes preventing our end
    We'd cheer as they saved the day
    We'd shout cheers and boos
    We'd still die and lose
    For we were young, but had fun anyway.

    Just tonight I saw a vampire
    Nothing scary was there to see
    In mirrors now I glimpse his reflection
    Was that blueness I did see?

    Those were the days old fiend
    We thought they meant our end
    We'd no blessings, what can I say?
    We'd say many 'oOooOoo's
    We'd die and lose
    For we were young, and easy to slay.

    Now Factions are a complete disaster,
    Monster ignore is so utterly lame
    And most now have RoT as their master,
    Please hum along, while I get another gain...

    Those were the days old fiend
    Now we've ninjas round every bend,
    And I find I'm an elf today,
    Huge beetles,strange shoes,
    Weird dogs called cu's,
    For we were loyal, yet EA made us pay...

    La la la la ......
    Those were the days,
    oh yes those were the days.
    </td> </tr> </table>
    I also got two votes, and had terrible visions of having to try to duel WyRm for the prize at the end.
    So, I tried putting in some fake wooden fangs that Otto had made as part of a thief disguise kit, but it didn't help.
    I still got withered 5 minutes later. That really doesn't do wonders for a girl's complexion, y'know? Still, I'd had the foresight to have a little spellweaving handy, so recovering wasn't too hard, and stealth is a target's best friend.

    Unfortunately, after that, I was occupied, chasing vampires all over the map (Crunch had dropped a victim, and I wanted to give it back to him), so I missed the first line or three of this next piece. Curses.
    Hopefully Crystal will pop in and tell us what it was later today, but still, here it is!

    <table border="1" width="530" bordercolor="#800000" align="center" bgcolor="#ffffff"> <tr> <td> <p align="center">Shipwreck (and barrel)
    Crystal Rose
    </p></td></tr> <tr> <td>[​IMG]


    84 precious lives were lost
    On that sad and fateful day
    all of them Brittainians
    from home so far away

    The crew in desperation tried
    To launch their covered boats
    When they saw the rig, the Blackthorn's Folly
    Would no longer stay afloat

    But the seas were far too treacherous
    And the waves were far too high
    And each man knew that hope was gone
    It was his time to die

    And what an awful night it was
    Out on those roaring seas
    An Occlo sloop went down too
    Just sixteen miles east

    And thirty Occlo lives were lost
    And they were just as dear
    As those we lost from Brittania
    And memories we rever

    Like their sons who follow after
    And their fathers gone before
    Our men must earn their living
    On that wild and treacherous shore

    And whether they're hunting fish
    Or seals, whales, far away from safe soil
    They must endure and persevere
    In hardship and in toil

    And now the wakes are over
    And the masses have been said
    And the widows and the orphans
    Now are left to mourn their dead

    We pray to all the Virtues
    to bless their wandering ghosts
    To protect all those who venture forth
    Off Brittania's fateful coast


    and then this one popped up again! I think we have a new record holder for recurring entries!

    Dear sir I write this note to you to tell you of my plight,
    For at the time of writing it, I'm not a pretty sight,
    My body is all black &amp; blue, my face a deathly grey,
    And I write this note to say why I am not at work today.

    While working on Lord Garets keep some bricks I had to clear,
    But tossing them down from such a height, was not a good idea,
    The foreman wasn't very pleased, he is an awkward sod,
    and he said I had to cart them down the ladders in me hod.

    Well clearing all these bricks by hand, it was so very slow,
    So I hoisted up a barrel and secured a rope below.
    But in me haste to do the job, I was too blind to see,
    That a barrel full of building bricks was heavier than me.

    And so when I untied the rope, the barrel fell like lead,
    And clinging tightly to the rope, I started up instead.
    I shot up like a rocket, and to my dismay I found
    That halfway up I met the bloody barrel coming down.

    Well, the barrel broke me shoulder as to the ground it sped,
    And when I reached the top, I banged the pulley with me head.
    But I clung on tightly, numb with shock, from this almighty blow,
    While the barrel spilled out half its bricks some fourteen floors below.

    Now when these bricks had fallen from the barrel to the floor,
    I then outweighed the barrel &amp; so started down once more.
    But I clung on tightly to the rope, me body wracked with pain,
    And halfway down I met the bloody barrel once again.

    The force of this collision halfway down the castle block,
    Caused multiple abrasions and a nasty case of shock,
    But I clung on tightly to the rope as I fell towards the ground,
    And I landed on the broken bricks the barrel had scattered round.

    Well as I lay there on the floor I thought I'd passed the worst,
    But the barrel hit the pulley wheel &amp; then the bottom burst.
    A shower of bricks rained down on me; I didn't have a hope.
    As I lay there bleeding on the ground I LET GO the bloody rope!

    The barrel now being heavier, it started down once more.
    It landed right across me as I lay there on the floor.
    It broke three ribs and my left arm, and I can only say,
    "I hope you'll understand why I am not at work today."
    </td> </tr> </table>
    4 votes for Crystal! Hooray!
    I wouldn't have to duel WyRm after all - who, by then, had been called away on urgent neck-nibbling business.
    It's not easy dueling vampires when you're equipped with cartography, lock-picking, detect hidden and remove trap.
    Although, I think I'm missing the sharpened lock-pick that I stabbed in Spyderbite's general direction...

    Another fine tale, of early travels in our fine lands, was presented - also with a fair amount of blood in it, but thankfully by this time, there was no danger of it splattering my scrolls!

    <table bordercolor="#80ff00" width="530" align="center" bgcolor="#ffffff" border="1"> <tr> <td> <p align="center">Felinious's First Day
      </p></td></tr> <tr> <td>[​IMG] had been summoned here, by my friend Serlesh
    to join him in adventure
    So as i waited around the Yew Graveyard
    for my as usually late friend
    i decided to explore some
    I headed south for a bit, passing through some building
    er east sorry
    then crossed over the Yew to Britain road
    and far in the forest i heard some strange noises
    so being silly and a much younger elf
    i decided to find out what was making those noises
    slipping from tree to tree
    i came upon a band of orcs
    round the fire they sat, roasting some horrible meal
    but when they spyied me, up they all jumped and came a running
    now i was young, but no fool
    so off i ran
    heading towards those buildings i had seen earlier
    I flew towards them, hoping someone was home
    there was a tower with banners and a what looked like an inn behind them
    I was running for my life, when out of the tower, came this human, bounding out of the tower
    with a mighty axe
    he bowled into the orcs like nothing
    and on his blood stained ax, was the name engraved into it
    his name was Grot
    little did i know, for years i would be his friend in many a battle
    but this time i ran for Yew, looking for my friend Serlesh
    as sounds of battle stayed behind

    Well told Felinious! 

    That was that.

    Thankfully, Wind and Crunch had been kind enough to take my armour for dry-cleaning after the withering, so I didn't have to worry about getting the blood stains out of that.

    Felinious also got 4 votes, but, being a perfect gentleman, agreed that the prize should go to Crystal Rose!

    Well done, Crystal!  And many thanks to Jasmine of Safe Haven for arranging the venue, and to Hoffs for all the work she put into this, and every week's event!

    That was fun!    

    Next week, the stories will return to the familiar ale and parrots of the Shire, and then after that - off across the void again!

    Bring your silver neck-guards as well as your garlic-and-holy-water-soaked gorgets!

    <table bordercolor="#800080" height="125" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" width="600" align="center" border="2"> <tr> <td>[​IMG]</td></tr></table>
    </td> </tr> </table>

  2. Guest

    Guest Guest

    I would read more of y'alls reports if you would figure out how to use more contrasting text to your background.

    That thing is unreadable man, sorry...
  3. Guest

    Guest Guest

    um....whoa! Screensplit!
  4. Yeah, well.. screensplit - oops. I am just the stunt double. Otto's not well, and can't come to the phone..er..keys, right now. [​IMG] *goes to look at HTML carefully*

    The colours - all I can think is, you've changed your Stratics theme to something other than the standard UO settings. There, it looks fine to me - black text on a light peach background's readable, and so is black text on a white background. I don't know what you're seeing, but that's what the Ultima theme gives me, in both Firefox and IE.

    If that's not the case, would you mind sending me a screenshot of what you do see? Thanks!
  5. Mandolin

    Mandolin Guest

    Great coverage, Bea!

    Oh.. and I found that sharpened pick of yours. I won't say where I found it, but you may want to wash it off. We'll have to work on your aim sometime. [​IMG]
  6. Guest

    Guest Guest

    Thanks for the post Bea.

    And it is perfectly readable to me, too.
  7. Maleeka

    Maleeka Guest

    Great story Beatrice....and I had no problem reading it either.
  8. Guest

    Guest Guest


    The text looks fine and readable to me as well.
    I see that NewsPro doesnt like you either. hahah.
    Thats ok, it hates me as well.


    Great report!

  9. Mandolin

    Mandolin Guest


    I see that NewsPro doesnt like you either. hahah.

    [/ QUOTE ]

    Gah! You had to mention that evil daemon's name didn't you... I truly believe that News Pro is the Damned that WyRm is trying so desperately to raise and wipe out humanity. *cringes and twitches from the memories of News Pro*
  10. Phish Phan

    Phish Phan Guest


    The colours - all I can think is, you've changed your Stratics theme to something other than the standard UO settings.

    [/ QUOTE ]

    Not everyone likes reading the manila envelope that is the default theme.
  11. Guest

    Guest Guest



    The colours - all I can think is, you've changed your Stratics theme to something other than the standard UO settings.

    [/ QUOTE ]

    Not everyone likes reading the manila envelope that is the default theme.

    [/ QUOTE ]

    Thank you! I find it disgustingly officelike...I personally use "Night of the Vampire" Try it Bea, and you'll see what I mean.

    You guys should play around with the themes in the control panel, and see if you cant find a background/text scheme that fits all that are available. Apparently, "Newspro" uses the default text schematic set in control panel, and I'll be darned if I'm gonna try and read white lettering on a ... peach? background.

    And yes, I am too lazy to click/drag highlight the whole thing.
  12. Mandolin

    Mandolin Guest


    Apparently, "Newspro" uses the default text schematic set in control panel, and I'll be darned if I'm gonna try and read white lettering on a ... peach? background.

    [/ QUOTE ]

    Ok.. and I'm definately not picking a fight here. But, considering this is obviously an issue the software used to publish the news.. why are you giving Beatrice a hard time about it?

    First of all.. there are two steps in the publishing process with NewsPro.. 1. Preview.. which looks absolutely nothing like what it does when it actually gets published unfortunately. And, second.. once published, its impossible to correct. Lastly, there is no "Test Shard" so to speak to go test out what backgrounds and text colors work best with all the skins available. Its either a post the news or don't post it scenario.

    My suggestion would be to contact Joshua Rowen, Teresk, ZigZag, El.. whoever on the senior staff and suggest upgrading/replacing the news publishing software.

    Again.. just for clarification.. I'm not picking a fight with you.. just think you're poking at the wrong person. Believe me.. I've made numerous suggestions in the past about my complaints and possible improvements with NewsPro myself. The software is lacking, but its the Reporter's only choice in order to post the news. To hold them responsible for Stratic's deficiencies is just not right.