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[News] Rick Flair Freed and Cymidei Fier Pardoned by Drunk Judge

Discussion in 'UO Baja' started by Cymidei Fier, May 30, 2009.

  1. Cymidei Fier

    Cymidei Fier Guest

    Urlik Fangborne searched the Dark Tower today for signs of missing guardsman recruit, Rick Flair. As Urlik approached the Dark Tower, the gates slammed shut just as his feet set foot on the stone threshold. Overhead, Urlik saw Cymidei Fier, the Mistress of the Dark Tower, sitting on the parapet overhead on a massive bone throne, sneering down at him.

    “Why are you here?” Cymidei demanded.

    “I am looking for Rick Flair the Guard.” Urlik replied. “You know where he is…”

    “Of course I do. He is secure in my oubliette, where no one can reach him. He is sick and he hasn’t eaten since we captured him. His time is short. To be frank, it is very short. If my demands are not met, he will be killed within twenty-four hours. I will behead him on this very spot.” Cymidei waved imperiously at a black slab of stone and a blood stained executioner’s axe.

    “What are your demands?” Urlik yelled.

    “I want a full pardon from the sentence …I was sentenced to be burned at the Stake by Judge Ferris in the Yew Courts. Obtain the pardon, or I shall make Rick Flair shorter by a head.”

    “I shall return” Urlik said and then he returned to Britain to find Corporal Brackus. When Urlik found Corporal Brackus and told him of Cymidei’s demands, Brackus recommended that Urlik seek out Judge Ferris, because there is nothing that the guards could do to change a sentence, only the high court and the judge himself would have that power.

    The guards gathered and went to Yew but Judge Ferris was nowhere to be found. Urlik and Newt Longbow returned to Britain and told Brackus that they couldn’t find Judge Ferris. Corporal Brackus recommended that they ask citizens to be on the lookout for the judge. Later that evening, the Judge was seen entering the Cat’s Lair Tavern by Bucko.

    Urlik Fangborne, Newt Longbow, Euterpe, Yalp, James of the Mage Tower, Bucko and SoMeOne approached the judge and asked for the pardon for Cymidei Fier. Judge Ferris was outraged that his dinner had been interrupted! The judge was stuffing his face with all sorts of delicacies, leg of lamb, a whole roast pig, cakes, pies and enough sausages to feed a tribe of orcs.

    The guards urged the judge to sign the pardon, because time was running out to save their brother-in-arms. The judge callously replied “acceptable loss, there are enough guards in this town to fill the dead one’s spot.” As the guards continued to urge that the judge sign the pardon, the judge became furious and rude.

    Urlik offered to buy the judge a drink, soon all the guards were buying liquor, ale and wine for the judge who got quite plastered. The judge was about to sign a pardon for a man in another case who was convicted of disturbing the peace for walking around town NAKED and then later it was discovered that the Redcap gang had stolen the man’s clothes. The guards switched the pardons, and the drunken judge officially pardoned Cymidei Fier instead of the innocent nudist.

    Urlik and Newt returned to the Dark Tower, where Cymidei was waiting for them. After a heated exchange, the guards demanded proof that Rick Flair was alive before they would turn over the pardon. Cymidei summoned Rick Flair from the oubliette and had him speak to the guardsmen.

    Next, Cymidei agreed to exchange Rick Flair for the pardon. Cymidei stepped behind Rick Flair and shoved him off the roof of the Dark Tower, to where his fellow guards stood below. Fortunately, Rick Flair was not injured in the fall. After making sure that Rick Flair was alright, Urlik and Newt took him back to Britain. The guards gathered in a circle and celebrated the return of their comrade and friend.


    “Hip, Hip Huzzah” and cheering echoed through the streets and even the Redcaps gathered to watch. Rick Flair answered questions about his harrowing imprisonment in the Dark Tower and revealed that the Witch Cymidei had been asking for disturbingly personal information about the Town Guards, specifically Brackus. She wanted to know if they had families, where they sleep at night and what kind of lives they have away from their duties.


    The guards suspect that The Dark Tower and The Redcap Gang may be planning more attacks against Britain of a more sinister nature than before. After the guards successfully freed Rick Flair, they signed on four new recruits! Rumor has it that the guards may receive a commendation for their hard work.
  2. SuperKen

    SuperKen Slightly Crazed
    Stratics Veteran Alumni

    May 22, 2008
    Likes Received:
    I've heard that justice is blind, but apparently they like to get drunk too!