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Nine words (most) women use

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by solina2, Jul 24, 2008.

  1. solina2

    solina2 Guest

    "1.) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

    2.) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

    3.) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

    4.) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

    5.) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)

    6.) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a woman can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

    7.) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say you're welcome.

    8.) Whatever: Is a women's way of saying F--- YOU!

    9.) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?'
    For the woman's response refer to #3.

    Guys remember the terminology. :lick:
  2. A woman's form of escalation:

    She playfully hits me in the arm and I reciprocate. She thinks I hit her too hard and then hits me with a sledgehammer.

    Or, I throw a paper ball at her out of playfullness and she decides to throw a vase.
  3. I believe the phrase "EVERYTHING'S FINE!!" seems to indicate that your abysmal current standing has slipped even further because you don't know what you did.
  4. christy1221

    christy1221 Slightly Crazed
    Stratics Veteran

    May 12, 2008
    Likes Received:
    I would be offended but most of what you said is right. LOL

    But as far as getting ready goes I can do it in five minutes but my husband takes forever. I have a horrible time trying to get him out the door. :D
  5. solina2

    solina2 Guest

    That will be an exception to the rules

    Really I dont mean to offend any one, just thought it was pretty funny; and even made copies for all my male co-workers :lol:
  6. Lady_Mina

    Lady_Mina Guest

    the rules are VERY simple...just stfu and be pretty.
  7. Sargon

    Sargon Seasoned Veteran
    Stratics Veteran Stratics Legend Campaign Supporter

    Mar 11, 2004
    Likes Received:
    I use many of those same words, but the difference is that when men say "fine" we mean "fine".
  8. Lady_Mina

    Lady_Mina Guest

    I don't really use those codewords.

    After being with the same guy for 5 years...i learned that it's ok to be dead honest.

    He's honest too...he tells me daily that my @ss is fat.
    And i know that a lie ! lol
  9. solina2

    solina2 Guest

    My husband tends to be honest as well, but still pretty funny stuff. :danceb:
  10. solina2

    solina2 Guest

    No you maybe some men do! :lick:
  11. Nenime

    Nenime Guest

    I would like to add:

    Uh-huh. The difference in using it by men and women is that men simply can't concentrate right now on what you say and don't dare to say please shut up. Women do listen very well but they think it's complete nonsens and you're a moron. An associate gentle smile emphasizes that.
  12. Kith Kanan

    Kith Kanan Guest

    women needs to say what they mean or stfu with the whining about how we men dont understand em....

    If I say im rdy in 5 min ill be rdy in 4 , if I say its fine... its fine.

    I want a girlfriend not a puzzle .....
  13. Syfka

    Syfka Guest

    This is just to dang funn i love it because it is all true and the men really do need to pay anttention to the terminology so they dont end up dealing with #3 :p:thumbsup:
  14. Locker

    Locker Guest

    This guide must be for weak men who let their wives run their relationship. Your guilt trips, drama, nonverbal grunts and standard female insanity have no effect on me.

    The wise husband in an advanced state of development has a mental mute button by which all of that stupid stuff is completely screened out. You want me to act right... then you act right... then you'll be rewarded.

    FYI a woman who thinks she's the boss probably has a husband who is getting some candy from a "nice" girl on the side.

    You've warned us and now we've warned each other. Treat your man nice or he'll find someone who will.


  15. Nenime

    Nenime Guest

    I see it more the philosophical way. The coexistence of men and women is like a Koan. [Wikipedia: A kōan is a story, dialogue, question, or statement ... generally containing aspects that are inaccessible to rational understanding, yet may be accessible to intuition.] The more you think about it, the more you get confused.
    "You're married. Accept it. Just focus on a point on the wall and let it happen." - Deacon to Doug in "King of Queens" ;)
  16. Syfka

    Syfka Guest

    Or this is for a smart husband or boyfriend who wants his relationship to work so in that case he would be a smart man so uh :next::twak::cursing:
  17. UO Relic

    UO Relic Seasoned Veteran
    Stratics Veteran

    May 14, 2008
    Likes Received:
    Late submission:

    If you say so - means she's decided its not worth arguing about and that your an idiot for not agreeing with her

    Great post! :thumbsup:
  18. Kith Kanan

    Kith Kanan Guest

    smart husbond aka wuss , if you let yourself drag around like a pony in a show you need to grow a pair
  19. Nenime

    Nenime Guest

    Women's dressing program

    check <wardrobe>
    if pieces inside <wardrobe> = 0 then stop; critical error
    if pieces > 1 then say "I have nothing to dress"
    pick random piece; dress; undress​
    loop 10x​
    if <husband> makes suggestion then ignore

    if dress fits to shoes = false then loop all
    if dress fits to shoes = true then say "Only five more minutes. I just check my make-up"

    if <husband> is annoyed = true then kiss


  20. Locker

    Locker Guest

    Laugh see Kith knows the deal. You gotta love these crazy ass, guilt tripping, bossy narcisists who's view of the world is basically "a smart man is one who lets me act as badly as I want and and who's only vocabulary involves "yes, dear"".

    Then again maybe she's right... maybe he is the smart man... says "yes, dear" all the time as camoflage while he drains her bank account and bones her best friend.
  21. monnie101

    monnie101 Guest

    ROLF Nenime's post. LOL I think they call that Programmers Humor lol. Good one.

    I seen this joke about Women before and it's always funny. I've always experienced the same things. I'm sure their is probably one for men done in retaliation lol.