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(Player News) The Perilous Inquirer - 48th Issue

Discussion in 'UO Siege Perilous' started by DeadBob, May 30, 2014.

  1. DeadBob

    DeadBob Ancient Alien
    Stratics Veteran Alumni Stratics Legend

    May 24, 2008
    Likes Received:
    The Perilous Inquirer
    Vol 1, 48th Issue
    May 30, 2014

    A small Atlantic guild, Exported Exulted Exiles Klub (EEEK), has opened their doors in Malas.
    Similar to NEW2, the guild members spend their time and resources helping other players. Some of you may know the Guildmistress, Shachar, who has an impeccable reputation on Atlantic as a community supporter. (I will personally vouch for her. She helped raise over 200 million gold in a single event for the Hall Of Players on Atlantic.)
    These are experienced UO players who expect to enjoy the excitement of Siege life and they could bring in more players who actually stay here.
    We welcome them to Siege.

    Spokesperson Wang Dong, aka UglyGorilla, denied any Chinese involvement in the EMP explosion at Broadsword studios this week.
    "Think about it," he explained, "EMP grenades cost at least 20k on the black market. Each. Destroying a LAN of Commodore VIC-20 servers with an EMP is not economically feasible. It was probably the North Koreans."

    And now, for all the Chicken fighters out there....
    Sing it Loud & Sing it Proud
    (To the tune of "South Park")
    "Chicken Fighters everywhere,
    Fighting fowl & never fair,
    Ripping flesh & eyeballs popping,
    Opponents slipping on our droppings!
    Fighting on for gory glory,
    Singing sagas of our story.
    Chicken Fighters EveryWhere!"
    (repeat ad nausium :whip:

    Real life surveys show that production shard players say, "Oh S***" before their car slides into a ditch on a slippery road. Siege players say, "Hold my beer and watch this."

    Gemini May 21 - Jun 21
    You will be forced to leave the best home you ever had when the authorities realize your sentence is up.

    To receive a prize, be the first to go to the Trivia Monk on our steps & say the word that answers this question:
    "Who started the guild, Exported Exulted Exiles?"

    Ring in the Summer at the classy Bellaire Museum Shop, just SE of the TerMur moongate, within GuardZone.
    Always stocked with unique items you won't find elsewhere. Walk to the roof and enjoy a safe and pleasant shopping trip.
    Holden Caulfield, Proprietor.

    The Perilous Inquirer
    Vol. 1, 48th Issue
    3rd house on left out the Luna south gate.
    News & Booze!
    Free current issues are on the "News" steward.
    Free named liquors are on the "Booze" steward.
    Back copies are free on the shop named, "Siege Droppings."
    Submission guidelines are posted on the bulletin board.
    Ace Reporter: Governor Lady Kattasrophe
    Deliveries: Doug The Fugitive

    ~sine die~
    York_Siege and startle like this.
  2. startle

    startle Siege... Where the fun begins.
    Stratics Veteran Stratics Legend Gilfane

    Feb 29, 2004
    Likes Received:
    Yup! :cool:
  3. Wulf2k

    Wulf2k Stratics Legend
    Stratics Veteran Stratics Legend Crusader of Chaos

    Feb 27, 2004
    Likes Received:
    That's because Siege players have their Porsche at home in the garage, and they're slamming their Civic into the ditch at 100 mph.
    York_Siege, IanJames and DeadBob like this.
  4. Victim of Siege

    Victim of Siege Crazed Zealot
    Stratics Veteran Alumni Safe Haven

    Aug 19, 2010
    Likes Received:
    Siege players usually have the Porsche up on blocks out in front of the Double-wide. Just sayin . . .
    startle and DeadBob like this.